When I die

It seems a little morbid to think about own death. Why would we think about death when we are still alive? There is a saying that life is beautiful. According to that saying, it would be absurd to think about death. But sometimes, some things happen, that make you start thinking about that scariest topic.

We are all mortal, and we are usually unaware of it. I suddenly lost my father and when you lose someone, who means a lot to you, you become aware of that certain part of life. That is the moment, when I started to think about death.

When he died, the questions remain unanswered. A sense of quilt remains, based on irrational basis. There also remains a sense of helplessness when we think that maybe we could have done something, but we didn't. When you lose your parent, you always think that there certainly was something that you could have done to prevent death from happening. And when you start to think about that, it is too late and there is nothing that you can do. I feel bad when there is nothing I can do. I think that the feeling of powerless is the worst feeling.

Since I felt very bad, I realized that I don't want my kids to feel like that when I die. I became motivated to make that moment easier for them. I know it is inevitable that they will be sad one day when I die. Sadness is normal in these situations. But I want to free them from some negative feelings as anger, rage and feelings of guilt.

I came up with an idea to make a guide for my children, which will help them to be calm and happy even if I am no longer there. I want to help them to go on with a smile. I will leave answers for their questions because these questions will fall on them like an earthquake. I will help them to live without guilt. I will leave my support to them. I will write one original message for them, because I know the right words at the moment when no one will know. I will not prevent their sadness, but I am sure that I will make it easier for them to face it and relieve stress and that will be invaluable for them.

My inspiration today is my sadness, but on the other hand I have positive thoughts. I would like to live long because life is really beautiful. My inspiration came from the feeling of powerless. Did you ever feel powerless?

Thank you very much for reading.

Article and lead image are original and mine.

Best regards to all readers and writers.