Now I Finally Understand Why I'm Like This

Do you really know yourself? Was there a time in your life when you ask yourself what is wrong with me? Why am I like this? Why do I feel like I don't belong to them? I know it's kind of late to figure out how I really am as an individual, and the values, backgrounds, and traits that I possess but I guess it is never too late to know yourself more?

I came across to a podcast that helped me identify myself as an individual because this existential crisis is living the hell out of me seriously. I'm glad I listened to it, for my sanity as well.

So here are the guidelines for my self-evaluation:

- Create a column of your:

Likes vs Dislikes

Strengths vs Weaknesses/Challenges

Likes vs Dislikes

*Likes

Food category:

I like Pizza, French Fries, Spaghetti, cheeseburgers, Siomai (Master Siomai and Chowking's), and anything with lots of cheese, that will be heaven for me. In viands, I like Humba (bisaya people know this), Sotanghon, Chicken Adobo, Buttered Garlic Shrimp, and crispy Lechon.

In colors:

Gray, Dark Blue, Black, Brown. Neutral colors in general or anything dark.

Hobbies:

Reading books, watching movies or series (Romance Comedy, Documentaries, Crime Mystery, Drama), playing the keyboard, listening to music, singing, and playing with Sunny.

*Dislikes

Food category:

Anything bitter (I can still tolerate bitter gourd though), too much sweet (I'm vulnerable to tonsillitis), too much spicy (I have a low tolerance for spicy foods), and foul smells.

Colors:

anything light or bright, my eyes can't stand seeing them.

Random category (in general):

Loud noises (crowds, people, chaotic situations), arrogance, walking red flags, and people in general. Haha

Strengths vs Weaknesses/Challenges

Strengths

I am organized with my things. I make sure that everything associated with me is in order, from my wardrobe to my stationery, and with how I respond to people (observing proper punctuations and courtesy). I also plan things ahead of time so this tracks me to keep going and looking forward to what's to happen.

That being said, I can say that I have strong attention to detail as well. That makes me a keen observer. I tend to reflect on the things happening around me. I am also independent. I believe I can function better when I'm alone and not with a team but I am a good and cooperative follower.

Weaknesses/Challenges

The things that I struggle with are the opposite of my strengths, exactly. If I'm organized with my things and have strong attention to detail, there's a tendency that I overdo it by being obsessed and being stuck with the situation not moving on.

With planning things ahead of time and when they don't go my way, I get frustrated right away and I find it hard to recover and get back to my senses. I have this attitude of being a control freak. As much as I could, I'd like to control everything.

With independence, I sometimes withdraw from other people which often causes misunderstanding. It's just that, I don't want to be with people for a time. I am also not a good leader. If I become, I would be a puppet leader who is indecisive and merely relies on what her subordinates suggest. I don't have this sense of authority over people, I don't like that feeling.

I am also weak in following directions, particularly on maps. I get stressed out easily and lose hope right away. For sure if I'll be on a vacation alone in a place I'm not familiar with, my expenses would be so big. I'll just take a cab everywhere. Yikes!

This article is a little bit vain, self-centered, or narcissistic but knowing these information about me expands the depth of determining my character more. I have thought about this for quite some time and reflected on this. It also allowed me to spend time and deepened my relationship with myself.

Now that I fully know who I am, it's time to determine why I became like this. For sure, certain factors made me who I am today but then again, these aspects won't fully define me today.

It'll be in my next article. Stay tuned.

Lead image source

Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone!