How to Support Someone with Depression

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Avatar for Jeaneth
4 years ago

Since I have shared with you guys the story about my depression, you guys may have experienced it too (I hope you did not) or you know someone who's currently battling with it, I wanna share these tips on how you support someone with depression.

Do's:

1. Be empathetic

It feels better when someone understands how he feels about his current situation. Don't give insensitive comments like "you are just sad, or you're okay, move on, only good vibes". Hey, that's false positivity.

2. Be patient

When your friend is depressed, a lot of negativities is going through his mind. You might wanna know the reason behind it but you may also want to give him space and respect boundaries. It is not advisable to force them to speak about it because they might be triggered, and will worsen the situation.

3. Tell them that you are there for them and willing to listen.

The phrase speaks for itself and is connected to number 2. Sometimes, it's better to stay quiet and be your friend's sponge to absorb his thoughts and emotions. Be your friend's active listener. Active listening means, you listen attentively and then counsel your friend right after he asks for your help.

4. Learn more about depression

Here in the Philippines, depression is treated as taboo. Filipinos define depression as 'inarte' or just acting out and exaggerating. Depression is real. Anyone can have it regardless of race, color, age, culture, beliefs, and religion. As the world evolves, the cases of depression get higher than usual. It is best to be educated regarding this to help yourself and your friends as well.

5. Initiate contact

This might not be the case of number 2. When your friend gets extremely distant, I believe that's the go signal to initiate contact. Most especially if your friend doesn't really reach out that much. Your friend will appreciate it if you check up on him from time to time to make him feel that he's not alone.

6. Remind them that they're good enough

When your friend is depressed, everything he thinks is negative. He loses self-esteem, self-worth, and doubts about his societal role. Please remind him that he's to worthy to live and he still has a purpose in this world. Remind him that he has his own greatness and talents. He has his own game to focus on and should be proud of his achievements.

7. Take care of yourself

Hmm, this sounds odd but it is imperative to take care of yourself too. That way, you can focus on taking care of your friend who has depression. You don't want to get sick when you attend to his ordeals. I mean, it worries you about his situation but you need to be strong for him and show a hopeful vibe to him.

8. Look for signs of worsening conditions

This is in relation to number 5. When there is a change of behavior like he gets so distant, gets irritated that much, loses personal hygiene care, sleeps too much, and loses appetite, have your friend get checked by a psychologist, or just be with them along the way. Companionship is the best solution to prevent suicide attempts.

Don'ts:

1. Rush to give advice

Be empathetic. Do not give pieces of advice right away telling him to do this and that. You are just putting pressure on him. It gets too overwhelming and it makes him think about impulsive decisions. Wait until he asks you a piece of advice.

2. Tell them to stop thinking so much.

You are just making him more depressed if you do this. That advice doesn't help at all. You should ask what bothers him and then listen actively.

3. Compare them to others.

Your friend feels worthless and yet you are comparing his life to other people's lives? You better just go away.

4. Invalidate their experiences.

We have our own struggles in life. Struggle is subjective. His struggle may not be your definition of struggle and your struggle may not be his definition of struggle too. We live in a judgmental society and we have different levels of tolerance in pain.

5. Judge or criticize their experiences.

This will not get any help from your friend. It makes him feel more worthless, cheap, and inferior. So that defines you of not being a good friend to him.

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Avatar for Jeaneth
4 years ago

Comments

Sometimes it's enough just to be..that this person knows you're with him ...

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4 years ago

That is so true. Companionship really matters. To make them feel that they're valuable πŸ₯Ί thank you for commenting.

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4 years ago

its just really sad to know that our countrymen has little knowledge about it.I think its only now that depression is addressed accordingly little by little by the society. ksi noon pag may nagkocommit ng sui**** ,najajudge na tamad and other negatives. or ung mga mejo nAbabaliw nA, sinasabing tamad or nag-iinarte. I fully understand this condition, nung nasa college na aq at lalo na nung nkkaexperience aq ng post partum depression which is getting better now.. kahit gaano k kastrong na tao mentally pag pala nastruck ng depression, wla na. and need to up the usual strong facade just to show others you are fine and okay

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4 years ago

Totoo. It's still a taboo here although it is slowly being addressed by the society na. Kase before, wala pa namang cases ng depression eh. I believe it evolves as to how lifestyle changes over time. Lalong tumataas ang pressure sa family, work, relationship and stuff.

What's hard is when people will consider you as fine when you are drowning inside πŸ’”πŸ₯Ί

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4 years ago

What's scary is when they become generous sometimes. I knew someone that had that phase, little did I know, that was the last time I'll see him cuz he died the day after he sent me something. I also read about similar instances too

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4 years ago

Oh yah, this article is based on my own experience only. So I didn't see that coming. That also happens pala noh like they spend their last day on earth by giving something to people who they value as a sign of gratitude. So heartbreaking πŸ’”πŸ₯Ί

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4 years ago

Yeah, it happens. First ex did that XD he sent me that collector's item ring he always wore because i really liked the anime that ring was from. He also gave somw of his friends a few gifts then he um.. u know

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4 years ago

Oh nooo, πŸ’”πŸ₯Ί what was the reason behind it?

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4 years ago

Well he was already terminally ill by the time i met him. He said he didn't want chemotherapy anymore

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4 years ago

That was so sad πŸ₯ΊπŸ’” how long did you guys had a relationship?

Btw, thanks for the upvote. πŸ˜…

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4 years ago

Just a short 6 months? I inly found out about it by the 3rd month. And no prob, I think it would help a lot of people if they read your article

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4 years ago

He must have felt worthless and a burden to you and to his family. He did not see any point in fighting against cancer.

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4 years ago

Yeah plus he was the eldest too. He had younger siblings. Sad we never got to go on that date but i still remember my first love at least UwU he made those 6 months fun

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4 years ago

Being the eldest puts a lot of pressure talaga. Haaay. We can definitely relate.

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4 years ago

Those mentioned above are very helpful to help someone who experiencing depression. It's sad to see and know that some are experiencing this.

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4 years ago

That's true. I was one of them so I knew how it feels. I really hope that someone who's battling with it may find this helpful. Thanks for dropping by ❀

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4 years ago

no problem :)

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4 years ago

Hays. Puro ganito na mga articles na nababasa ko πŸ˜‘ Nashashocked ako sa mga revelations ng mga user dito and mga kaclose ko pa dito sa read.cash , grabe lang no? Dami natin pala untold stories and dito lang natin nailalabas. Ang dami nakakaranas ng depression.

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User's avatar Yen
4 years ago

Trueee. Timely kase eh. Although I can say na I have recovered na. I just wanna lend a hand in the simplest way that I could virtually.

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4 years ago