Since I have shared with you guys the story about my depression, you guys may have experienced it too (I hope you did not) or you know someone who's currently battling with it, I wanna share these tips on how you support someone with depression.
Do's:
1. Be empathetic
It feels better when someone understands how he feels about his current situation. Don't give insensitive comments like "you are just sad, or you're okay, move on, only good vibes". Hey, that's false positivity.
2. Be patient
When your friend is depressed, a lot of negativities is going through his mind. You might wanna know the reason behind it but you may also want to give him space and respect boundaries. It is not advisable to force them to speak about it because they might be triggered, and will worsen the situation.
3. Tell them that you are there for them and willing to listen.
The phrase speaks for itself and is connected to number 2. Sometimes, it's better to stay quiet and be your friend's sponge to absorb his thoughts and emotions. Be your friend's active listener. Active listening means, you listen attentively and then counsel your friend right after he asks for your help.
4. Learn more about depression
Here in the Philippines, depression is treated as taboo. Filipinos define depression as 'inarte' or just acting out and exaggerating. Depression is real. Anyone can have it regardless of race, color, age, culture, beliefs, and religion. As the world evolves, the cases of depression get higher than usual. It is best to be educated regarding this to help yourself and your friends as well.
5. Initiate contact
This might not be the case of number 2. When your friend gets extremely distant, I believe that's the go signal to initiate contact. Most especially if your friend doesn't really reach out that much. Your friend will appreciate it if you check up on him from time to time to make him feel that he's not alone.
6. Remind them that they're good enough
When your friend is depressed, everything he thinks is negative. He loses self-esteem, self-worth, and doubts about his societal role. Please remind him that he's to worthy to live and he still has a purpose in this world. Remind him that he has his own greatness and talents. He has his own game to focus on and should be proud of his achievements.
7. Take care of yourself
Hmm, this sounds odd but it is imperative to take care of yourself too. That way, you can focus on taking care of your friend who has depression. You don't want to get sick when you attend to his ordeals. I mean, it worries you about his situation but you need to be strong for him and show a hopeful vibe to him.
8. Look for signs of worsening conditions
This is in relation to number 5. When there is a change of behavior like he gets so distant, gets irritated that much, loses personal hygiene care, sleeps too much, and loses appetite, have your friend get checked by a psychologist, or just be with them along the way. Companionship is the best solution to prevent suicide attempts.
Don'ts:
1. Rush to give advice
Be empathetic. Do not give pieces of advice right away telling him to do this and that. You are just putting pressure on him. It gets too overwhelming and it makes him think about impulsive decisions. Wait until he asks you a piece of advice.
2. Tell them to stop thinking so much.
You are just making him more depressed if you do this. That advice doesn't help at all. You should ask what bothers him and then listen actively.
3. Compare them to others.
Your friend feels worthless and yet you are comparing his life to other people's lives? You better just go away.
4. Invalidate their experiences.
We have our own struggles in life. Struggle is subjective. His struggle may not be your definition of struggle and your struggle may not be his definition of struggle too. We live in a judgmental society and we have different levels of tolerance in pain.
5. Judge or criticize their experiences.
This will not get any help from your friend. It makes him feel more worthless, cheap, and inferior. So that defines you of not being a good friend to him.
Links of the images where I got it from:
Sometimes it's enough just to be..that this person knows you're with him ...