Your child's mistake is your failure as a parent...?

That's what some people believe in. Is this overrated or is it underrated?

We all have our impressions of raising our children. We have different perspectives and we definitely have different circumstances. Parents only want the best for their children. Well, at least that's what I presume.

Should a mother be in the blame for her child's misconduct? Should a father be in the blame for his child's mischief? Or should the child be solely responsible for his own mistakes?

Some have horrendous, unsupportive and uninvolving parents, those that we consider as BAD parents, but kids still possess good morals and are good individuals. And some are blessed to have loving, caring and ever-supportive parents, parents that never fail to provide nurture and structure, parents that are always there in times of need but (kids) commit mistakes (from few to many)... Mistakes that can sometimes be just a slight/simple wickedness and sometimes one huge depravity or worst, immorality and/or crime. Some parents are innocent, some are sinful, both types may have good and/or bad kids depending on the possibilities. No one knows what a type of child a parent will have regardless of whether the parent is either good or bad.

My opinion is that it can be the parents' shortcoming why their kid commits a mistake. 'Why? Why is it my fault? I never failed to teach/guide him to what's right and wrong? Why blame me for my child's frailties and faults?' you might be asking.

Let me justify my opinion. I respect that you believe you never failed to look after your child and that you did your best to guide and teach them all these years. Maybe, just maybe, we forgot something that might have helped them a little bit more. Or maybe we overdid something that caused such behavior. There are things we do out of love for our children that lead them to such failures without us realizing it. We aren't perfect. Nobody is. But clearly, we did or did not do something without even realizing it.

But as I said, there are different cases regarding this matter. I am a parent myself. And I know how difficult it is to raise a child. And I also know how hurtful it is to be blamed by their children's mistakes. If you think you failed, it is never TOO late to make things right. It's better late than never, right?

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Comments

I remember my husband telling me that kids have that built-in attitude in them.. which I think is also true. I have observed some kids from the way they act against other kids and other people. Even if you don't teach a child anything, they have it in their minds... it's a very unique thing for every child..some are good but others are a little off which parents should look into. As much as possible mold these children while they are very young..

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4 years ago

yeah start molding them while they're still young,

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4 years ago

But it is still on the environment where the child is belongs too, and thats right sometimes too much teaching may lead to misundertanding and never hearing back your child thoughts.

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4 years ago

yeah. so communication between parents and children is a must.

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4 years ago

Dapat may komunikasyon sa bata at magulang para mas mag kaintindihan at palakihin nila ng maayos ang mga anak nila hehe

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4 years ago

tama. sabi sa akin ng friend ko na lgbt, edi kasalanan nila na lgbt ako? sabi ko naman, bakt sa tingin mo ba mistake ang idenity na nasa puso mo? alam mo kung ano ang mali nila? ang ijudge ka abandunahin ka dahil sa nasa puso mo. yun ang failure nila. naiyak yung friend ko hehe

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4 years ago

I still not a parent but if I will be. I want to have a open relationship with my children. Were they can talk to me no matter how trivial the thing is. I want to be their best friend that they can talk about anything. Ofcourse, I will not let them be spoiled in material things rather than I spoiled them with love and care. Understand them and hear them with their opinion.

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4 years ago

It's hard being a parent. It is full of responsibilities. But I think you can manage to be a good mother. As long as you're willing, it will just come out to you naturally. :)

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4 years ago

Yes, I do believe also.

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4 years ago

"If you think you failed..." I never thought I failed. I did my best which is way more than most people can say.

I do not believe it's always the parents their fault. The problem is your child is raised by school (the government) and the society. It only spends a short time awake at home. Suddenly you have a child with a huge lack of Vitamin B12 because school, the government wants us all to eat so only. Suddenly your child is in jail or suspended from school because the teacher wants it to join a demonstration about whatever this time kind of life matters. This goes on and on. At a certain point your child is responsible for it's own deeds and has to live with that.

You can tell what is right or wrong according to you, what you think about God, racism, extroverts, dogs, etc but that isn't enough.

Children do know quiet well what is wrong or right, how to get away with a lie. A two year old already lies even if it was never punished for it. That makes one think.

I also believe some children are born as a bully, psychopath and parents cannot be blamed for that. It's easy to blame the parents or childhood, the lack of toys or celebrations or poverty but it is character that makes some fail and others successful in life.

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4 years ago

I respect your opinion. And I respect you as a parent. Yes, it's true that whatever you say or do, they will still be socializing with different kinds of people everyday. Everyone is responsible for their own deeds and actions. It's not that I'm blaming the parents alone for the mischief. What I'm trying to say is that they have a big role in their child's character. Again, as I've said, it's case to case basis. Like, there are children that has bad parents but still grew up to be a good child and there are with bad parents that grew up bad children too. And there are good parents with bad child and good parents with good children. But whatever is it, their parents play a big role on how they grew.

But yep, I respect your opinion. Everyone has own opinions, that's what makes us human. :) Thanks for reading my article. :)

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4 years ago

You are very welcome. I think character makes and breaks people.

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4 years ago

yep. humans are unique. very cool creation.

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4 years ago

It's a normal phenomenon that human beings aren't perfect, we are not created to be perfect and we can't be perfect. So we always tend to do mistakes without realizing sooner, it all applies to everyone weather you're a parent or a child. What's important is that we recognized mistakes and correct it sooner. As for raising child, it's really not easy I'm a parent too but, I'm doing my best, I don't care about the opinion of the society how to raise my child as long as I'm seeing a good results of how I raised her, but if I notice some negative effects then maybe I did mistakes and try to correct it as soon as possible. Because how we raised our child is the foundation of their growth. It's not an easy job to be a parent after all, so we shouldn't be bragging weather we are doing good instead help other parents to realize it, not to criticize.

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4 years ago

I love how you expressed you opinion so positively. I believe too that if a parent sees something wrong with the child, the parent should think that maybe the parent something wrong and try to correct it. Raising a child is the hardest thing to do. What they become is a reflection of their parents. I also don't believe that judging or telling a parent what to do will help her how to raise her child. Every human s unique, Characteristics or attitude of a person is different from others. What's good for your child may not be good to someone else's. As I've said, it's a case to case basis.

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4 years ago