The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else. It is never easy. It can be very depressing.
I have been friends with him the longest time. We share a bond that no one else can replace. A bond that can't be easily destroyed. A bond that has a connection that only two souls can understand. Or at least that's how I felt.
I love him. I don't know how or when it started, I just felt it. So I think that means I love him since I can remember. I remember when we were still kids and he'd defend me to the 'bullies' (as to what he calls them). It doesn't matter if I'm wrong as long as he sees me disappointed, he'll tag the other person as a bully. We often talk about this and laugh at our childishness those times.
We have our moments.. Those sweet ones. But we also do have bad times. We also fight. And what makes me love him more is that he knows how to make me feel better. He know what to do. He knows how to tame me. And he does. He always does.
I never had the chance to tell him I love him. He knows I love him. But I don't think he knows how deep. It's easy to fall in love with him. He's sweet, caring and funny. He looks good too, I must add. I don't know if I can ever tell him how much I love him. I'm afraid to lose him because of my selfishness and stupidity.
He's got his eye for a different girl. A girl I can never compete with. She's pretty and smart. I don't know her well so I can't say if she's kind. But he likes her so much. He's been courting her since the start of this school year. Me being a stupid girl and a good best friend, I support him.
Last night he called me. His voice very ecstatic. Very happy. He told me the girl he's courting finally said yes. I smiled and tried to fake a natural happy-for-your-bestfriend kinda look. Tried to push my voice out to congratulate him. He looks so happy. His smile, I've seen that several times and I know that what that smile means.
It went dark afterwards. It became so dark. I can't see any lights. I feel so lonely. I want to cry and run to my best friend to comfort me. But how can I do that if he's the reason? I want to tell him I love him but even if I have the courage now it's too late.. He would not understand. He will not accept. He will just go away. I've already lost the man I love, lost a little hope I have with him... I don't want to lose my best friend too..
I will love him still.. I know I will. Love him unrecognized. I would love him without him knowing.. I will support him. I should be happy because he's happy. I should be happy for him. It's hard. It's hard to be happy when you're dying inside. I will continue to be his best friend and he will continue to my best friend and the love I never had. The dream I never had. He will remain to be just a dream I will never come true.
#FICTION #NOTTRUETOLIFE
Girls always make that mistake of not telling the guy that they love him till he slips away. When you start feeling you love him, you tell him. Take away the pride. Don't feel you're showing him signs or whatever. Say the words .