Man is sentimental by nature: we give meanings to everything, we cheerish and treasure memories, and we live to love and love to live. How could humans feel this way?
There are things that my heart did not understand, it has questions that never been answered, and answered that wasn't understood. Even if I tried to figure it out, I ended up asking of, how did I end up loving you? You are not that lovely, not that charming, not that intellectual, not that good enough but I ended up loving you.
One day, I realize that your flaws made you the way you are; your shortcomings helps you to so more and reach for more.
I rejected you a million times.
But it's too late! I told you that you are not enough and I want someone better than you are. You strive hard just to win me and make everything you could so I would see the beauty right through your heart. I never know how much pain you've endure and how much sorrow you bear just because I told you that I don't want you.
Then another day has come, years had past and you made up your mind. You told me that maybe you're not enough for me and I deserve someone better. I feel happy and I even whisper to myself of "yes, at last". I say yes at last I don't have someone like you who teated me too special that I cannot make my own way up or way down. I am happy that day because I don't have someone who will tell me what to do and there would be no someone to cling and annoy me with I love you's.
Days has passed and I start feeling the emptiness, I start feeling broken and I feel like I miss something. Then, I remember that I used to have you by my side, cheering me up and annoys my day. I started missing you. My heart seems missing the person whom I thought isn't enough.
I have decided to reach you out because I know that you will always want me and maybe you waited for me in secret just like you did before. I hold my peace and let the days passed by, months after months, and one day I cannot bear it anymore. I look for you and wanted to just at least see you, I called you but you did not answer, I was upset, I even shouted my phone as if you're there. I called you again, texted you, chatted you, and I start to cry. I realize, I've never cried this hard because of you, it's you who cried over me. What now?
I walk around and try to relax, I saw you from afar and I went through you and shouted, "hey! Don't you want to go out later? It's my polite invitation, I promise not to argue" and you said "No, I have appointments". It was new! You never say "NO" to me before.
Then the last thing I heard was, "we have to go". Wait, we? And then I wake of to the reality that he's holding another hand, he is wearing a really sweet smile, and he is giving it to her. I thought it's just me. I thought there's nobody else. Then I remember that I've always wanted him out when he is with me, and now that he's with someone else I feel like my world will stop revolving and the sun is not shining any longer.
hmmm