Me, Myself, and I

"You will never know joy until you know sorrow..." That's one of my principle in life and with that I can say that I don't cry in sorrow but I rejoice in it, how? By accepting that I can never have everything I wanted but I can have everything that I needed and maybe "sorrow" is one of those.

Let me introduce myself by saying "To obey is better than sacrifice." That is who I am. I am a woman with lots of pen names depending on the genre that I am writing with. I used my real name for educational books, I am Jac Door in international magazines (New York Times) and that happens only once in my life, I am Dreamer93 in another platform, Carnation as a teacher, and Jasmine as my phone name and my pen name here in ReadCash. Each of these names had it's own meaning.

My real name is named after a bird and a feminine name, Jac Door means my own door of reaching my dreams, Dreamer93 because I am born a dreamer even how difficult life is --- I always dare to dream, and Jasmine because it's a princess in the movie Aladin (I'm a princess too, but not of Aladin 😍). I made a better version of myself by making a difference for the people who looks up on me to not stumble on the way I live my life.

So to start with who I am, I am just a simple woman who once was a girl that grown into a lady who believes that we can never know joy until we know sorrow, and that it is best to obey than to sacrifice. There are lots of times in my life that my principle were tested and tempt me to disobey my father's instruction, multiple times that my mind is thinking to rebel against my parent's will, and times were my heart deceived me and almost fallen to the wrong decisions in life. But those were the times where my mind is rational enough and strong enough to do the next right thing and the last thing I remember is even if I am in pain because I am fighting against my own will to do the right thing (to obey), still I chose to be on the right tract. I fall but I never remain fallen, I stumble but I never stuck myself up, I was pained but I count it all joy because I know that I just need to composed myself and to do the next right thing because in that way I would be leaving a legacy where no one could ever take it from me ---it's a legacy of peace and joy.

I am a woman who loves to reach for the shore amidst of waving seas, who loves to play the music even in trying times, and a woman who sets a standard by being a standard herself.

I also have my masculine part of my feminity, I love ball games, I used to play with my brothers (maybe because I don't have elder sister to play with back then). I love Math more than English but I teach both. I must say, I am a woman who loves game but don't want to be played on, so I distance myself to those who loves to play game because I am not an entity to be sold and a toy to be played, I am a woman of whom my mother cheerished and of whom my father loved and protected. I am not just a woman but a princess in my father's castle.

So, who really is me? I am a writer like you, who loves my pen more than my phone.