Thoughts To Ponder: Honesty and Kindness, The Act Of Humanity

May 3, 2021

As a part of my daily routine, I'm always having my morning walk outside every 9 or 9:30. I'll do marketing and buy other stuff for myself like food and basic needs. The market is quite near our place so it will only take five minutes to walk there. Compared to other HK cities, the place where I live is safer with lesser noise and the lesser crowd on the road, except for special holidays.

I have suki (regular customer/frequently visited store) at the market and they know my face already, not with the name though. They call Filipino as cheche (big sister) and we call them auntie or koko (big brother). The spot of my suki was close so I went to another shop. I seldom go to that shop but the vendors know my face as well.

I bought some veggies worth HK$27 and I gave Koko HK$30. He gave me the change but it was HK$6. Then I asked him, 27? You gave me HK$6. "Aiya, you are very good, God bless you." He gave me HK$3 and I said "Thank you" with a smile and bid goodbye.

It doesn't only happen once, but many times. I remember one day I was in a hurry and did not check the change the vendor gave me. When I got back home and checked my wallet, there's an excess HK$100 in my walley and it bothers me the whole night. I contemplated on what happenned the whole day and tried to recollect my memories from shop 1 to the last shop, until I found the answer. The next day I went to the shop and returned the HK$100, the auntie felt glad and said thank you to me.

Why am I even telling this?

Some people are not honest when they receive excess change. They will just gonna keep it even if they know it's bad.

Honesty is another thing that makes us human, and give us free life. Remember the saying, "always be good even if others are not, even if others cannot, and even if others will not."

I really don't understand why some people behave that way. Can't they reflect on the attitude that lay behind their dishonest action?

I may not be the kindest person in this world, but at least I know how to filter the good ones from the bad ones. Because every time I did something bad, my conscience is killing me and it won't allow me to sleep well the whole night. Sometimes I even tell myself, "there is no use of crying over spilled milk," yes there isn't, but we can do something to make it right.

One day I was walking on the street with my Chinese boss and her daughter. An old poor lady passed by pushing a heavy cart full of boxes and other trash. She took out some money, it was HK$20 to be exact, and gave it to the poor lady. She told her daughter, "you see, your mother is very good, giving money to the poor, you should be good as well."

I did not mind her because I know the real act of kindness. She's acting good because other people can see it, but if not, she won't do that.

Why people can't act kindness without eye witness? Just like how politicians, celebrities, and other wealthy men act in front of the media and the crowd.

Then when we walked back home, we saw a bunch of poor-looking people walking towards us that are quite untidy. When they were about to pass by, she paved her daughter away from them, as if she doesn't want a single strand of her hair or a single thread of her clothes to be touched by those poor people.

In my mind, I said, "one minute she's good, the next minute she acted like she disgusts those poor people."

I and her daughter looked at each other and our eyes were telling the same thing. "You're mom is quite insulting you know that?" I whispered to her.

"I know that, that is why sometimes I disgrace her being my mom." She said.

I am still happy that her daughter knows the right and bad and doesn't follow her steps. It's all thanks to the good guidance of Filipino employees they had for the past years.

Why am I even telling this?

Good teaching starts from home and parents are our first teachers. For a child to grow as a good person, he/she needs good and happy guidance from his/her parents. But if they don't, then the kid will lack the mental and emotional resources that life present on their way, and he/she will grow into a vicious or unkind individual.

Parents should teach their kids to be honest and kind, and not act like a good person in front of others, but when they turned back, the real color will appear.

Honesty and kindness are not just about telling the truth and doing the good one, but it is about being real with ourselves, and others about who we are. When we lie to others, we deceive ourselves into believing what we are saying and start digging a hypothetical ditch and it will just keep getting bigger over time. If we lie to others, that means we lie to ourselves as well.

And if we lie in front of the kids, they will be able to adopt it and apply it to other situations, unless the kid thinks positively despite dishonest acts happening around him/her.

I'm not a hypocrite and will not say that I never lie or never do bad things. And if I will recall those scenes, especially when I was young, when I was trying to excuse my shortcomings or compensate for something, and trying to pursue a sinful desire that only gives temporary pleasure.

Despite its temptation, lying gets us nowhere in the end. We should stay right on our own track, or else, we go backward. But as I matured, I learned that honesty defines us as who we are even before we allow others to know more about us. And so I just left those lies in the land of fiction where they belong.

And that act of kindness, it should be done to everyone not just to a few individuals. Because in this world that is filled with light and dark, what we need is humanity!

Honesty without kindness can be cruel. We can't see the real color of someone through honesty alone. But if we combine both honesty and kindness, we can create a better understanding of each other, a better life, and a better world.

Lead image from https://growcounseling.com/honesty-kindness/

Thanks for reading. Happy Monday 😊