It is easy to start a relationship, but it is difficult to maintain the relationship. Maintaining relationships is an art and not everyone is an artist.
Most of us can maintain relationships with our parents forever, but not with our partners. Wondering why? Because we do not do the basic things with our partners that we naturally do for our parents. Obviously the partners are not parents and vice versa, but the following are twenty key things that can help one maintain his or her relationship (s) well throughout life.
1. Respect for each other and for people related to other people - In any relationship, the basic requirement is to respect each and every person associated with them. If you can't do this, stretch the other peace and just move on. Also, stay polite even when you are angry. Control your tongue. No one wants to listen to annoying things for themselves.
2. Being honest and truthful - No one wants to build false relationships. It will not last long. No tower takes on loose foundations. It is better to be honest and tell the truth. Obviously some people may not like it. But then, you also do not need such people in your life. Reduce the crowd and give yourself some space. Keep those who appreciate your honest soul.
3. Not keeping secrets and keeping things secret - I’m not saying someone has to give a second a second update, but somehow basic information should be shared with other people using personal judgment . Do not hide things with malice.
4. Ability to trust other people in anything and everything under the Sun - You should trust the person in everything about you, knowing that they will not use it against you. Now, if the person does not meet this standard, he does not deserve to be in your life.
5. Owning your own actions - no one wants to stay with people who love to play games to blame. There are enough things to worry about in a person’s life. No one wants to add stress to it voluntarily.
6. Accepting differences - No one duplicates you. Not even your brother, mother, father, grandparents or your partner. You will always have differences in them of different ranges. It’s good to accept those differences happily and make them positive.
7. Compromise - relationships do not break. To maintain a relationship, you need to switch to your convenience from time to time to do things you may not have done (obviously not morally or ethically right - I only refer to the basics) if you are going to -one, but you have to do it if you want to keep the relationship.
8. Learn when to say no - never allow yourself to be used in any relationship. I have seen manipulating parents and siblings using their own blood for their benefits. Meet such people and stay away from them. Know your limitations - what you can do and what you cannot - under any circumstances.
9. Set boundaries - this is very important in any relationship so that no one will value you.
10. Talk - you will need to talk regularly about your feelings and needs until you reach the stage where people can understand what is going on in your mind without you speaking. Such people should be valued.
11. Show your love - you don't have to do big things sometimes. They do not count the little things you can do every day to show your love. The demon depends on the details, and make sure you do it right.
12. Appreciate what other people do for you - a delicious meal cooked by your mother, a delicious dish cooked by your father, a hand-made card from your brother - tell them how it means to you. Trust me, a little appreciation is far from over. Spend time - in the world of gadgets, it is very easy to waste your time.
13. Spend it with your loved ones before it's too late. You never know when it will be the last time you watch a movie, eat a meal or sit down and talk. Do not leave any room for regrets. No one knows when the last goodbye. Make the most of the time you have now.
14. Things are not 50-50 - no relation to the whole universe is 50-50. When one vehicle tire is worn out, the other should be the other in load and vice versa. This rotation must continue to happen every now and then, otherwise one side pulling on the other will tire out and continue forever.
15. Accept change - everything changes with time. People are growing. You mother is not the same as you were when you were born. Your partner will not be the same when you start your relationship, or you will be. Everything is changing. Learn to accept it. This will reduce conflicts.
16. Do not argue, discuss - Discussions are fruitful, arguments are vindictive. Discussions will help you figure out solutions for problems. Arguments do not have any value addition. You have the rest to decide.
17. Empathize with their pain - One may be in physical, emotional or mental illness. Empathize with him. You will not remove their pain, but you will be able to provide moral support.
18. Manage your emotions - other people around you are not empty containers where you can pour out your unwanted feelings. Learn to manage them on your own.
19. Put in the effort - no relationship works without efforts. Accept it or not - to keep a car running, you need fuel. Similarly, to keep a relationship running, you need efforts.
20. Letting go - some relationships are not meant to be. No matter how hard you try, there are some relationships which will end up giving you pain and hurting your peace. It is better to let them go. Toxic siblings, life partners etc - it may be strange, but beyond a point, it is okay to let them go. Free yourself.
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Always maintain a healthy relationship with yourself. This is the most important relationship in your life. Do not lose yourself in saving your other relationships. If you lose it, you are all free. Only a peaceful and calm person can maintain good relations with others.
Every relationship in life is unique and has its own importance. You cannot replace one with another. As you grow older, the relationships in a person's life increase. The complexities of relationships also increase. You are repeatedly tested in unknown ways in your relationships. A good heart that loves, respects and empathizes will win. A successful person is not the one who earns the most money, but the one who gets good relationships.
