Self Murder

It's been two hours since I committed suicide by hanging myself on a rope. I'm still hanging out. So far no one was able to send in the perfect solution, which is not strange. I know that in a few moments the roll of tears will go away, and I will smile when I see them. In this gap, I do not have any calculations, for what reasons it was reasonable for me to commit suicide.

After much thought, I was able to find out 3 reasons behind the suicide. But I do not understand the exact reasons. Very vague. Mother's voice can be heard. In a few moments, father also came. They were all supposed to be hanging on my ropes as normal. I suffered a lot. I was wondering who wouldn't cry for me? The police are asking different questions to different people. While I was still hanging, two policemen carefully lowered me. He packed the body and sent it for postmortem. I've been here alone for a long time. I'm a little scared. It would be nice to have a cup of tea. When I am very scared, I get thirsty for tea. The throat is hurting too. I remember my mother saying that if she could stay in the world for a few more days, some more calculations could be done.

The morgue is smelling very foul. I don't want to stay here for another moment. I can see three doctors. It looks like they are drug addicted. One doctor tells another that everything is fresh for boys this age. Separate the kidneys as soon as possible to get a good price. They are trying to cut from the part of my throat to the bottom of my stomach with something like a big chapati. I'm groaning in pain. At a very young age, when I went to play ball, I turned upside down and got stuck in the upper part of my teeth with my teeth. Seeing this, my father was upset. If my father could see today that three doctors are cutting my body like this, I don't know how much my father would suffer.

I was surprised to think that we have the ability to end our own lives One million people choose this path every year Even in societies where suicide is illegal or prohibited, people commit suicide But there are only 30 forensic experts in Bangladesh, out of which 4 are female forensics but there is no female dome. If I were a woman today, this male Dom would strip me naked and show me his knife game. My mind trembled at the thought. If a woman dies with a strong desire to get out of the male society, but the last time she is in the world, Tukuo has to bury her with that male dome and give away the last Tukuo.

Why am I thinking so much? I am a man. My hair-splitting analysis is being done by a man. I got peace of mind. The male dome is very carefully transferring my kidneys, liver, lungs and brain and soaking them in salt water. I am looking at my own kidneys, liver and lungs with my underlying eyes. This is a terrible thing. All my past has been floating in front of my eyes since I committed suicide. Looks like someone played my past on VCR and I'm looking at it like a picture. Sometimes I am laughing at my past VCR and sometimes I am breaking down in tears. If you can go back a little and describe the past, it will be useful to understand the crisis of life. Running past number 1 in VC.

January 18, 2018, is my 19th birthday. My friend Rupak (pseudonym) took me to the deep forest with a cake to surprise me. No one was seen around except me and my friend. I was surprised and said, why are you bringing me here? I'm afraid let's go. The cake can be cut somewhere in the locality. Rupak said, crazy or can I surprise you locally! This is the ideal place to surprise you. I also happily agreed to leave. I cut the cake and thought to myself how beautiful life is. Trouble ensued when I saw a huge man in front of us hiding and watching us all. Before we knew it, the man jumped on us. Within minutes a few more people gathered around us. With two thick ropes, he took our hands behind his back and tied the pit-mortar. I can't breathe. The metaphor's face has turned red. I'm very ashamed. I keep asking what is wrong with us? Why are you bothering us. The big man has only one thing to say, we are smugglers. They will tie us up until the police come. A large stick was brought to beat us. As I got younger, I got scared of metaphors. I am sitting at the man's feet and pleading in a tearful voice. Asking us to leave. Nothing will melt his mind. He called someone to be more strict with us, to bring a box of coffins. They will kill us and throw us somewhere in the coffin. Our fears are growing. I am standing silently without any hope. For about 30 minutes our hands were tied. Fear, I could not speak properly. And if we find out about such a false accusation in our house, how can we show our face? They are really wanting to die now. On the way a man came to us and said, "If you pay us fifteen thousand rupees, we will be released." We asked for a mobile, I will manage the money with a call. Given the mobile, the metaphor wisely tried to tell a friend of ours the whole incident in size gestures. We got a little hope back. Friends came and took us away. We figured out everything from the man's identity. I swear, we will punish the man severely, but we have to be patient. When I become a magistrate and a metaphorical big law-year, we can punish as we please. I will pick up the man from his house on the same day. We also fixed a time of January 17, 2023, on this very day we will punish the man according to our wishes.

I was upset to see the past. I should have survived till January 17, 2023. Will the metaphor alone be able to judge the man well? I feel very restless and don't like to think about anything. Dom replaced everything in my body again. He is sewing the cut part of my body with a thick needle. My body was disinfected with chemicals. He wrapped it in a shroud and left it in the coffin. A doctor says if there is anyone outside the body, hand it over. All three doctors left. I'm alone now.

I again tried to find out the three reasons for suicide. Trouble is brewing because I am finding the logic behind suicide as well as an anti-logic. Am I the only one responsible for my death?

The police will be able to know this answer after looking at the forensic report. I also want to know who is actually responsible. What is my punishment if I am responsible?

To be continued.

Thank you.