After two miscarriages in a row, I was completely broken. The taste of living is decreasing day by day. But I could not calm myself down for the second time the same thing happened. I know why it seemed to me again and again that God may not have written the taste of motherhood in my forehead. My husband Ahnaf also seems to have fainted. That's why men can't even cry. My father-in-law, mother-in-law's face is also black. I couldn't look up at anyone. Feeling very cursed myself.
Two days later I was brought home from the hospital. The last time there was a miscarriage, everyone comforted me, especially Ahnaf. The man has been by my side all day and has given me confidence. If it weren't for him, maybe I would have died in the service, I stopped eating and drinking. Ahnaf used to feed me this. My mother-in-law, mother-in-law was also by my side as my strength. It is very easy to get out of any situation if the family member is by my side, the same happened to me.
When I conceived for the second time, the whole family was very careful with me, there was no lack of care. No one would let me do any work. 1 year after my 1st baby miscarriage, I conceive again. This time I myself was very careful, I used to tell Allah, don't empty my lap now, God. I used to sit in daily prayers and pray this one in the court of God. But I don't know what sin God has given me, even twice. I wanted to commit suicide, but I did not do it for fear of sin. After returning from the hospital, everyone seemed to change. My happy world seemed to fade away. My mother went home with me for about 15 days. I was perfectly healthy by then.
Ahnaf seems to have become silent, not talking to me like before, not even smiling. Doesn't want to talk without much need. When he goes to bed at night, he stays back. I understand Ahnaf's plight, so I don't tell him anything. My mother-in-law, mother-in-law, how did it happen. I didn't care about all this, I focused on my family like myself. Every night I would stand in prayer and cry in the court of Allah. I have no one else who will understand my pain. Sometimes the sound of crying would reach Ahnaf's ears, he would fall asleep with a faint annoying sound. I understood that I had moved away from the life of Ahnaf. I stayed with the hope that one day everything will be fine.
After about 6 months, I suddenly woke up at night. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 1 o'clock at night. In the living room, as my mother-in-law, father-in-law and Ahnaf were talking, I heard the words vaguely.
You get married again, Dad, this wife can't give you a taste of fatherhood. Don't you see, 2 children were lost in a row. But mother, I love Tanni. It's not his fault, God forbid, tell us what to do.
I could understand what was going on, I sat quietly on the bed and started crying. Ahnaf will understand me? Or will he change? I can't beat Ahnaf. I will explain to him, if necessary, I will adopt the child. Yet I will not leave my world.
When I returned from the Ahnaf office the next day, I talked to him. Ahnaf, are you upset with me? Why do you say that, Tanni. I can't give you children, that's why. Not so much. Ahnaf, let's not adopt a child. It's not Tanni's own child anymore, but I'll talk to my mother.
Ahnaf wants to see his child's face, he explained it to me differently. It is discussed in the living room every night, making Ahnaf get married for the second time. Now Ahnaf doesn't protest so much, maybe it seems right to him too.
After 1 month, Ahnaf came and said to me, "Tanni, I want to bring your partner, I want to see the face of my own child, what do you think?" My famous Ahnaf has changed today. Tanni who said I will not leave you in any situation of life, and he is saying that today. Two days later, Ahnaf got married and got married. I couldn't believe Ahnaf would be someone else. I spent the night with a stone tied to my chest. The next morning I called Ahnaf
Ahnaf, I can't give your share to anyone else, you will be uncomfortable if I stay here. And I can bring danger to your wife or future child. You divorce me in two days. It is better to die at once than to die every day.
Ahnaf may have understood everything so he did not give me any obstacle. We got divorced in two days. I left Ahnaf's house and brought nothing but clothes to wear. I came home and cried a lot, crying is very important for me to live. The next day I got sick, my mother brought the doctor home. Ahnaf's call came in the afternoon. Somehow I heard I was sick. Hello Tanni, how are you now? How to get sick. I'm fine. How's the body? Well, how is your wife? Well, take care of yourself. Are you ok I will come to see you from time to time. Baby and I are both fine. You will never communicate with me again.
You mean baby? Whose baby? What are you talking about? I didn't tell you before. I found out today, I'm introverted. And the baby is mine, only mine. You could tell me once, Tanni, then I might not get married. Where did you have so much time to give me? You were busy with marriage. Shall I come and see you?
I hung up without saying a word. The next day, I changed the SIM cards of everyone in the house and left the house and went to my aunt's house.
Today is my daughter's 5th birthday. Ahnaf knows that he has become the father of the daughter. But he never saw her. I have heard in public that Ahnaf's wife does not have a child. Many doctors have shown her, but she has not seen Ahnaf's child. I don't blame destiny, I'm pretty good with my Arisha. I pray that the wife of Ahnaf will soon become a mother, and that she too will be intermarried.