I remember the story of Peter Pan, that for the magic to work, Peter needs to find his happy place... The place where his heart is content, pleased and at peace.
I will be the first to admit that finding my happy place has not been an easy task. I’m a very emotional person and each rejection, each no, gets to me. I easily succumb to the pain of being rejected. I tend to take things to heart most of the time. So its difficult to find that one spot where I can be at peace, where I can be truly happy.
At a young age, I have helped my mom with our store, so I never really did have a lot of time to play. I did have some time but for kids, play time is always not enough and having had to work, I was given that “responsibility” early on. I always had to be the serious one, although my life has been one blessing after another, I always felt like I had to be the responsible one. I am not the oldest, I have an older sister and a younger brother. The middle child and you can say I had that syndrome, because the gap was wide enough for a thing to not have been done by the oldest because she is already “matured” while it could not have been done by the youngest because he is too young, leaving people with no choice but to suspect me.
So happiness for me wasn’t easy to find. But as I grew older I found it outside of my home. Friends, lovers and adventures made me feel complete, where I felt alive and full of vigor. Happiness is always outside of my house. The house I grew up in, was that, a house, it was never a home. I am not being melodramatic, just stating facts.
So, I got married, left the house and tried to make it a home, much unlike the house I grew up in. I would like to believe that at a certain extent I was successful. It’s not perfect but its the best possible outcome I can create with the resources I was given.
As I said, happiness is a choice. So these days, my life ain’t perfect to say the least and I can count the days that I felt truly happy. But it is a choice I make, so I make it. Every day. Each day I wake up and say to myself. I will be happy today. I look for the little things that makes me smile. I take joy in every little thing I can. Sometimes I find success, sometimes that success is snatched away. Sometimes I nurture it till bedtime where I take it to sleep and allow myself the luxury of bringing it till tomorrow...
