Just a few days ago, we were there in a marriage party, I saw a few of my cousins debating over arranged and love marriages. As more people were in favour of love marriages, I thought my blog post would be for love this time. But then my mind whispered, ‘getting your parents to arrange someone for you is better – for they know what you want, and they will choose the best for you.’ Really there is a continuous debate regarding the best way to choose the partner for marriage. But can we really explain which one is better?
Marriage is an important social institution and every individual wants to have a perfect match. In love marriages, individuals choose partners on their own, while in case of arranged marriages, partners are being chosen by the family. However, we all know that a great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences, be it love marriage or an arranged one.
Love marriage
– Both individuals know each other already and mutually decide to spend the whole life with each other.
– Couple is responsible for its choice and onus of the blame in future lies on the couple only and nobody else.
– Couple is aware of each other’s likes and dislikes. That's why , they get along well.
– Such couples may help eradicate social evils like dowry with their mutual consent because they have the independence to take such decisions at their own level.
– uncontrolled spending too, can be curbed through understanding between the couple.
Arranged marriage
– Arranged marriage is not a contract between two individuals alone but a confluence of two families.
– Two families involved in arranged marriages evaluate each other and marriages happen only when the two families are compatible with each other.
– Because there are more people involved in arranged marriage, the conflict between the couple will be effectively solved or mitigated.
– In arranged marriages, couple is guided by parents whereas in love marriages couple may not be in a position to assess the future complexities in life that may arise.
Conclusion
Both – the love and the arranged marriages – have their merits and demerits and marriage is a decision of lifetime. Although families are involved in most of the marriages, yet it’s the couple who has to live together for lifetime. So, the decision to choose life partner would be left to the individuals. Ultimately, no one can certify the best way for a perfect marriage because just like life, marriages too are full of uncertainties.
And, remember that the success rate of marriage doesn’t depend upon whether it was arranged or not but rather on how the two people understand each other.
Love marriage. Because of we knew each other before marriage.