27.08.2021

Month is about to end but I'm not good and can't make my days productive but I'm okay with it don't thinking much about these things but what make life worst is being sick in wrong time

I was okay being sick in normal days but mostly i feel sick when I've to do something important and on occasions or festival like every time it happened and ruin everything which I can't expect

So this happened yesterday before yesterday i was fine and didn't experienced that I've fever so yesterday it was my plan to go city to get information about admission and different courses

Everything was planned and was thinking what will happen tomorrow and when my mom wake me up i wasn't in mood to wake up but somehow i decided to wake up but asked my mom that I'm not going anywhere

Now my grandmother was coming from another city so it was my plan to take her also but my condition didn't allowed me to go anywhere coz I wasn't able to stand on my feet and i was like what and how it is possible i sleep without any fever but when i wake up I'm not even able to walk.

Well i didn't told anything to my mom i just asked that my sleep is incomplete and I'll go later for my admission stuff

She didn't asked or forced me coz her plan was to go because of some other things so she leaved and now i was alone somehow i did breakfast to get some energy and things started going worst.

Leave everything let me tell story from start

I was already sick but i ignored

It started a long way back from past couple of weeks i was so much depressed but i never let anyone know what exactly going inside me

I was keep taking things so seriously being pressurised myself and was faking like everything is going normal and I'm happiest person exist

I keep In touch with favourite person whom i feel good and refreshed to talk with and i didn't even made them realized anything

Now from past couple of days or just this week i was sick from start and it wasn't too much that i feel myself i was thinking I'm tired but while watching series when my mom put her head in my forehead she said you've fever but coz i didn't realize and i said nope I don't feel like this everything is normal and I'm just tired

She asked me to take medicines but i totally ignored because even though i wasn't feeling anything like this

She was also sick before

Thing is she was also sick few days back and her condition was even worst then me so i was almost doing everything except cooking

As always i never felt ashamed doing my house works like even before when my mom was teaching and my school shift was evening so i always wash dishes and do clean house before leaving so when she came back and Don't have to do anything except rest

So as always this time her condition wasn't good and was so sick and everything was on me but she got better and i got sick

Is it possible i got sick because of her?

No way! Everything was separate i drink water on separate glass it's my habit that i use everything which isn't used by others

But few days back when she was sick my and her glass was at side table i always place my things same place everytime

So i don't know i was playing game or was watching series i mistakenly drink water which was used by mom and i didn't drunk it when i realized but it might be possible from there it started effecting me and then i realized when i wasn't expecting.

Once i got sick then it take days or month to normalise everything

I don't exactly know why this happen with me but it's a fact that i don't get sick like it's to rare to get fever but once or half in a year

But once i got sick then it took months to get healthy and it always happen when I'm going to do something so serious or in occasions stuff

Seriously you'll think I'm joking but it's true no medicine's work properly and that's why i started ignoring this and don't think to much about my health.

I went to hospital and got medicines

If my mom didn't forced me to go for a checkup i won't visit hospital ever even if I'm dying coz that's what i want to happen

I'm not a person who have headache and start consulting doctors I'm a person with patience and my whole family knew it that how much patience I've that's why first I'll test my patience and will control and fight against any disease by my own and even in real life i faced everything by my own

But yes today my mom forced me to go and take medicine i was keep saying no I won't go anywhere it will be okay after few days or time

And was also thinking hospital is far away from my home and i visited previous time also and i didn't found any car while going back so i walked whole way to my home being sick and this was fear that i can't even stand so if i didn't got any bus or car then how will i came back

Also she told me tomorrow is off day and i knew that it's already worst condition that I can't even sleep properly and spent whole night in pain so i didn't ignored and decided to go luckily i found car and also when i was returning from their after getting medicines and i felt to lucky.

First being sick is worst thing then taking these medicines like i got 4-5 different medicines and eat all of these at same time.

I'm much better after taking medicines

I didn't expected it will work too fast now at least i can stand on my feet. First i did breakfast after returning from hospital i forcedly did breakfast coz I'm not from that persons who stopped eating when they need energy.

Then i took medicine and it was hell hot day outside for others but i was still freezing after taking blanket and whole night it was like I'm in Antarctica.

Medicine did their job and i slept for a while but coz it's not night i slept hardly for an hour and good thing i realized that it's working and getting better

Now currently while writing I'm feeling pain in different part of my body and also wrist pain is started again or it already planned to not leave me.

I was shocked when doctor ask this

When doctor checked my mouth after telling everything I'm experiencing he said from how long you're facing this i told it started just yesterday

Then he told me it's not possible and i was like i didn't even realized anything like this and you're saying it's been to much time since this happened with you

Well then i realized how much i was living in depression and being stressed it make me that much sick even i didn't realized when it started and from now I'm trying to not take stress or think too much leaving everything on god as he planned everything perfect for me but thing which is killing me from inside is he planned everything perfect but why I can't do and took steps by my own

It was my mistake thinking like this I'll make my connection with him strong again and will share everything with him which I can't tell anyone and this is only solution of depression.

Closing thoughts

It was only reason i wasn't able to do anything productive last day and I'm not able to visit anyone so will continue once i become healthy like always and will show my consistency again

For now your prayers needed nothing else and it might be possible many of peoples will not visit me coz I'm not able to visit anyone but these things reveal who was with me in worst time

Anyways thing i hate most when i visited doctor is he restricted some of things like he asked me to not eat rice which isn't possible still i didn't asked this thing to my mom and rice is already cooked in house and will eat my favourite dish it's not possible or I won't listen to anyone in this case.

Let me say goodbye now and wish everyone to have healthy life not like me who always be sick having wrist pain, mouth infection and now fever with three different diseases.

fin.