I'm not interested in being in a serious relationship right now which I've never been in one before.
My previous relationships were not typical "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationships, in the sense that we did not date or be intimate, and we solely communicated via text message, which was common at the time. I didn't want to be alone at that age because I was young and partly influenced by my social groups, so I tried to engage in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to feel included.
Those previous relationships, on the other hand, were not memorable, and I don't see a positive or romantic aspect to them, so I've decided to quit entertaining suitors. Gradually, I'm losing my attraction to males.
I used to believe that if I went to college, I'd meet the ideal man. But I just realized that I didn't like anyone. When there are a lot of attractive guys at the university, unlike when I was in high school and was easily attracted to guys.
Maybe it's because I'm too focused on myself and living in the moment throughout my college years.
And, possibly, another influence is my environment, the people in my immediate vicinity. For example, in school, I've seen classmates and friends who are in relationships crying because of their issues in their relationship and other classmates who became pregnant and stopped going to school.
Those events in my immediate environment make me wonder what would happen if it happened to me. I'm not ready for those kinds of dramas in my life, to be honest.
Lastly, I am not ready to commit. I also don't want to push myself. As a result, I made a promise to myself that I would never be in a relationship while in college.
When I watched adorable couples on social media or read romantic stories on Wattpad, though, I became a hopeless romantic. But, to be honest, I don't see myself in that kind of scenario at this moment. I'm just happy right now, and I know that the right man will come along in the future, and I hope that I'll be perfectly prepared in every way.
