Twenty Two

A number, a time, a date, your age, your cash on hand. Whatever you call it, I know some of you has a special connection with the number. Like me, it’s one of the special numbers that I really like. Firstly, it’s because it is my birth date, and secondly it’s because I became a mom at twenty- two. What are the odds, eh. Hahaha.

Twenty- two. It is the date today, twenty- second of December, year 2021.

Two days away from Christmas. The time of giving, sharing and loving, among other things. It’s the time when families get reunited together to celebrate.

But I am really having mixed feelings about the holidays this time.

I don’t know how I would be if I feel those old sensitivity again.

I am scared out of my wits to even think about it.

I thought I have gotten over all those unwelcome feelings, but I guess it will take up years for me to even feel better. Or better yet, I have to be numb for all of it to feel nothing at all.

You know, how one person could stir up your now peaceful space when that person just came into your life again for like twenty- two hours.

Hmm, I don’t mean to radiate negativity this early. Hahaha.

So let’s just get on with another thing to talk about. Because you know, days away and it will be resolution time again which we don’t follow all year round. Or is it just me, hahaha. So what are mine to share? I think firstly is to be happy. That’s a big word for me right now, to be totally happy even with everything going on in my life these days. Yes, I am happy now. But there are lingering feelings left from my brokenness that it’s hard to really feel good. Now I’d like to feel that, being peaceful happy even in just twenty seconds of every time.

There are other resolutions that I really got to live on, but I will just write it down and keep it to myself. Well, you know, so if I can’t live my word for it, you won’t judge me, okay? Hahaha. Kidding aside, I have a simple list of goals for twenty- twenty two! But you know, some things change in the get go that you’ll never know what will happen, even if you plan how you spend your life ahead of time. So I will just stick to some.

Thus, I just have to let the flow of things to guide me, steering from time to time, for the boat of life to carry me to my destination.

So, twenty- twenty two, here we go!+_+

Okay, so I was rambling again. I can’t seem to organize my thoughts. Hahaha.

But I am so thankful that you read it as far as this line. Teehee!