Moments I Lost Count Of

Earlier, I was to wash the dishes since I was feeling a little better. My body’s not heavy to move around with. Maybe the flu medicine I drank finally took effect.

My daughter was still beside me, and while washing her hands:

“Mama, how many more days?”

My daughter asked me again for the nth time. This is her daily question to me. When are we going to go back to the city? Sometimes I answer, sometimes I don’t. I’m not going to give exact dates since I’m certain she’s going to take note of that and will just bug me when the date comes and we’re not yet going to travel. By August is my answer.

She said she really misses her friends in the city. I on the other hand like it here, even though the weather is not to my liking. Been living in the city where the weather is cold but bearable, where as here is too hot for me. Now I got a flu from too much exposure to heat. And also my daughter has it too. But we'll get by, I know.

The good thing about being sick while with the parents is they take good care of you. It’s home here, really. I can feel pampered and baby-ed. Hahaha. Yeah, still, even if I am an adult with a child. I can never feel that when I am at the city where my daughter, my siblings and I live. You get up in the morning to make breakfast even if you have a heavy head and weak body. Tend to my child and to house chores even if the body needed bed rest to get better. I cry sometimes. I feel helpless sometimes. It’s never easy. So I needed to be strong every time. I needed to let my guard up for pain and sickness. Because who’s to take care of me when I get sick there? Even my child pities me sometimes and cries with me if she sees me in pain. And that shouldn’t be for me. I need her to see me strong for her to lean on me when ever she is going to be sad or in a low mood.

It should be like that, right? As her role model. Hehe. But sadly, I am not perfect. I made mistakes that she shouldn’t have seen. And heard. And as always, I try to explain to her. And compensate.

I know I can get by being sick. But I more like it that there is someone taking care of me. Someone who knows I am strong but takes the initiative to pamper me, even if he knows that I really can hold myself up. Independently. But I think this is asking for too much. And that I should just be contented. Haha.

The rain finally came at 10:22. It’s drops are like lullabies to my ears. This means the earth will be wet. And the breeze will be cool. It's past bed time yet instead of trying to sleep because of the flu, I am still here writing. I slept for hours during lunch time today, so even if I stay in bed, I know I wouldn’t sleep yet at all.

The door of the terrace is open. So the rain drops I hear is loud. How it drops on the ground I can also hear.

How many memories of rainy days do I like? I lost count.

It’s just that I feel really deep in emotions when it is rainy days. When I was younger, whenever my parents go to the city for appointments and important things to attend to, I always look at the roads, staring at the public utility jeepneys coming back from the nearby town, and hoping in one of it, my parents were there. I don’t want to feel alone without them. Specially on rainy days, with the thunder rumbling and the lightning striking. I wait for them. Some of those moments, there are fine days, other times they’re rainy.

Rainy days during childhood were really great! If it was raining too much, we go out and take a bath on the rain. We soap ourselves out too. We also make rain ways on the ground and race to who’s path rain water finish fast. But while growing up, we rarely do that now.

And as a hopeless romantic that I am and a sucker for the feels, I just go near the window and watch how it lands on the pavements, on the leaves and flowers, and on the window sill as it drips on the glass windows. Sometimes if there is no thunder and lightning, I go out to walk, with an umbrella on hand. Letting my feet get soaked in the rain.

So it was just a shower. Again. As I was writing this. It rained, I mean, showered in the afternoon also. I thought it would be a downpour nonstop as the clouds were too dark and looks heavy. But yeah, I judged wrong. Haha.

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. It feels like I am on a timer. But then it finally stopped.

How long did I tally the rain timer?

And at 10:57, it rained again. I just hope it will take long this time. Enough for it to water the fields and legumes we have here.

So how do you feel on rainy days? How many emotions do you feel on rainy days?

As for me? I lost count.

The only thing I know is that, on rainy days, my emotions and feelings seems clearer. And bolder.

How many more days of rain? Let us just lose count.

Hiya there! Thanks again for reading!

May you always be warm on rainy days!+_+