God

A tiger kept prowling around a village, and naturally, the people became frightened. The cows, the calves and even men were mauled to death by the tiger. Then everyone killed the tiger with sticks, spears, lances, and guns. But when one was gone, another one came. At last, the people prayed to God,

“God, Please, protect us from the tiger.” 

God replied, “Okay.”

A moment later, the tiger made a complaint to God, “Men have inflicted torture on us. We have been running away in terror from one forest to another. The hunter always chases us. Please, save us from them.” 

God said, “Sure.”

Right then, Nera's mother sent a prayer, “Oh father, give my son, Nera, a beautiful bride. Please, Lord! I will make offerings of sirni (sweets) worth five paisa to you.”

God said, “All right.” 

Harihar Bhattacharya was going to court to file a lawsuit against his nephew. He said to God, “My Lord, I have been performing puja all my life. See how frail I've become due to fasting. I want to teach him a good lesson. Please, God, support me.”

God Said, “Okay.”

Shushil will sit for the exams. Every day he prayed to God, “Lord, make me pass the exams.”  Today, he confided in God, “If I can get the scholarship too, I will feed the poor.”

God said, “Fine.”

Haren Purakayastha wished to be the chairman of the District Board. He requested God via Kali and a priest, “I need eleven votes!” Having received an honorarium, the priest irked God by pronouncing erroneous Sanskrit mantra. 

God hurriedly said, “Okay, Okay.”

Farmers cried, “Make the rain fall.”

God said, “Yes, yes.”

A mother of a sick child pleaded to God, “He's my only child. Please, Lord, don't take him away from me.”

God said, “All right.”

An elderly woman, aunt Khenti, from next door complained to God about the same mother, “Hey Creator, she is an arrogant woman. Wearing new Jewelry she swells like a turkey. You have done a great job by making her child suffer. Punish her a little more.”

God said, “Oh.”

A yogi said, “God, I want to unravel your mystery.”

God said, “Indeed!”

The Chinese implored God, “Defend us from the Japanese.”

God said, “Sure.”

A novice writer from Bangladesh told God, “No editor publishes my write-ups. I long to publish them in the Probasi. Tell Ramananda Babu to be kind to me.” 

God said, “Yes, sure.”

When God finally had a chance, he whispered to Brahma who was sitting next to him, “Do you happen to have pure mustard oil?”

Brahma said, “Yes, but why?”

God replied “I need it. Can I borrow some?” 

Brahma nodded.

As soon as the mustard oil came from Brahma's abode, God pinched some and poured it into his nostrils and fell into a deep sleep. 

He has been sleeping ever since.