The Agony of Grief

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02-22-22

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"death is the most obviously permanent and extreme form of loss.”

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Have you lost a loved one in death?Faced with the unbearable pain such a loss brings, one who grieves may wonder: ‘How long will these feelings last? Will I ever be happy again? How can I find relief?’

HOW BAD WILL IT GET? Bereaved ones may not know what to expect following the death of a loved one. However, certain emotions and challenges are common and can often be anticipated. Consider the following:

• Feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Crying spells, yearning for the deceased, and abrupt mood changes may be experienced. Emotions may be further charged by vivid memories and dreams. Initially, though, the primary reaction may be shock and disbelief.

• Bouts of anxiety, anger, and guilt are also common. Since we had never before thought of ourselves as angry people. We felt guilty too, as we questioned whether we could have done more to help.

• Troublesome thinking patterns. There may be periods during which one’s thoughts become erratic or illogical. For instance, a bereaved person may imagine that the deceased one can be heard, felt, or seen. Or the bereaved one may find it difficult to concentrate or to remember things.

• Desire to withdraw. A grieving person may feel irritable or awkward in the presence of others.

• Health problems. Changes in appetite, weight, and sleep patterns are common.

Be patient with yourself. Take one day at a time, move at your own pace, and know that the pangs of grief do not last forever.

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The intense feelings associated with grief are normal

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If you look for advice on dealing with grief, you will likely find a myriad of ideas​—some more helpful than others. Perhaps that is because, as mentioned earlier, everyone grieves differently. What works for one person may not work for someone else. Realistically, nothing will completely erase the pain you feel. However, many who have lost a loved one can attest that taking positive steps, to helped them to find comfort.

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