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Addiction and The Ever-evolving World

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Written by   197
5 months ago

I do not know if anyone who reads my articles knows this, but I used to have a severe drug addiction problem. I am going to go over some of the struggles I went through back then and what new struggles I have today. I have been clean for some time now and it has not been easy. Amazing but not easy. I have been sober for around 9 years now and just started getting involved heavily with politics and investing a couple of years ago. What a time to get involved. I could barely understand anything before but now it is like learning trigonometry lol.

I have always tried to find an escape, whether it is video games, money, sex, reading, building something, etc. as you can see the list can go on forever. I have been trying to fill this void in life since I was a little boy. I have been on a crazy journey trying to find myself and had to learn from a lot of mistakes.

During my journeys of finding myself and coming to my conclusions of the world. I came across drugs. All I learned from school was "JUST SAY NO" which anyone who has any common sense knows that the majority of humans that are told NO want to do the exact opposite. I am not blaming the horrible schooling systems or anybody for that matter. I am just saying that it would have been nice to have been educated and taught the right way at the right age so I could be more knowledgeable of where that path would take me.

I was introduced to Heroin when I was around 18 years old. I would snort it occasionally at parties but it was not a normal thing. As time progressed I got into it more and more. There were other drugs in there from time to time but nothing sucked me in like this drug. It took all the love and empathy I had and balled it up and threw it out the window. I slowly started turning into the monster people would come to know.

I eventually got so far in that I started using needles. I can not remember how or when this happened. Who in their right mind would shove a needle in their arm I used to think. This drug takes you into some dark places you think you could never go. I have done things I am not proud of but I have used this negative part of my life to help me mold the future for not only myself but my family as well.

I got so bad that I needed it every morning, afternoon, and night. If I missed one of these times I would feel the start of withdrawal coming on within 6 to 8 hours. At this time I was using around 1 gram a day. It might not sound like a lot but this was about $100 a day habit. I would do all sorts of crazy things to find my fix. I have taken things that were not mine and I have broken into places that were not mine. I have done my time for this and I have made my amends as much as I can. I just want to show you how far it can actually take you.

At the end of this horrible nightmare, I was shooting it into my neck. I know this is very graphic and hard to read but it is my life and I thought it was about time to share it with the world.

I would have to go into the bathroom anytime I wanted to "get high" (by this point it was not getting high anymore, it was making sure I could be well enough to sleep that night) I had to look at myself in the mirror and watch as I find my jugular, stick it in, make sure the blood comes back, and push. Over time I got so disgusted with myself. I had to use my neck vein because after a long period of time shooting drugs you start to lose your veins. I was very clean when I did it but it still did some serious damage to my veins and body. Also how clean could I really be using needles on the streets or in some "friends" basement? I do not think a lifetime supply of alcohol wipes could disinfect some of the places I have been. Sometimes I had to use the same needle over and over. Which would eventually feel like sticking yourself with a sewing needle because it was so dull.

It has almost been over a decade since I have used hard drugs and I have the willpower to know when I am taking something too far. I am still searching for life's answers but I think we all are. I just know now that it is not in a needle or at the bottom of a bottle.

It has been a long and bumpy road but I made it. I got out just in time. With all of this synthetic stuff going around killing people, it was like some type of energy got me out just in time. I got out right at the start of the fent. craze. Which is crazy to think about. If I would have kept using I would have 100% died by now. I would have been another statistic and left more kids without a father.

I have learned over time what is really important in life. For so long I was selfish and only cared about myself and getting high and forgetting my problems. Now my problems are not just my own. The rest of my family has to suffer from them. I wish I would have learned this years ago. I guess it is never too late to try your best.

I was raised by some of the greatest parents. They tried so hard to make my life perfect. They gave up things so I could have things. I can only imagine what this has done to them and how much pain I have put them through. They gave up so much trying to do right by me and I end up the way I am. I just hope they see the man I have become and not the boy I was.

It has been a struggle and I have thought about writing a book about it. I have some stories that you would think we're from a horror/adventure movie/novel. I have thought about writing short stories or just one long book about my life. I have actually started just writing down memories and I have around 25 pages written so far. Maybe one day I will have it finished. Maybe by that time, there will be NFT books or something like that and I can make it so there are only 100 copies in the world. I wonder if book NFT's are a thing? This will be something I need to look into in the future.

I am just surprised I have survived it all and have two kids. I have done some serious damage to my mind and body but I am still smart enough to enjoy life and learn new things. I was lucky enough to not have done damage. Something or someone is looking out for me because I believe I should have died years ago. If you only knew what these eyes have seen.

The pandemic has tested me that is for sure. I have had my struggles and started drinking too much at the beginning of all of this. The struggle never ends and anything can set you off in the wrong direction. Take note of the signs and what the world is telling you. Instead of having a drink go outside and get some fresh air, take a walk, read a book, or write a journal. I have used Crypto as a type of escape from the world. Coming on here every day is kind of my me time in the morning. This is the main hobby I have at the moment that helps me stay away from my addictive personality. I also write in a journal and try to write posts like this one. There are so many different things you can do that are positive and rewarding.

Life is too precious to throw away for a few good times.

  • The National Survey on Drug Use and Health indicates that nearly 5.1 million people used heroin in 2015.

  • Heroin abuse is reaching epidemic proportions. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, deaths due to heroin overdose increased more than six-fold between 2002 and 2015.

  • A recent study from JAMA Psychiatry indicates that the greatest increase in heroin use between 2001 and 2013 occurred in white Americans. The study also found that young people 18-29 and mid-life individuals 30-44 are more likely to use heroin than older people.

  • An article from The Atlantic that quotes various studies indicates that heroin use by women, higher income brackets, and people on private insurance has increased. However, men are more likely than women to overdose, with deaths due to heroin overdose four times more likely in men than in women.

  • Info from https://americanaddictioncenters.org/heroin-treatment/the-facts

I hope you have enjoyed this article and it has opened your eyes a little. Addiction is a real problem all across the world and it takes a lot of love and patience when it comes to helping someone dealing with this problem. Keep an open mind and a steady heart. The addict will only get clean when they are ready to be clean. There are ways to help push them in the right direction. Always remember though, patience is very important.

I have learned to cope with my addictive personality by replacing my free time with things that will help me in the future. Instead of playing video games, I research different Crypto projects. Instead of just sitting around feeling sorry for myself I get up and organize all of my assets (digital and physical). What I am trying to get at with this is keeping yourself or a friend with this problem busy with positive things is one of the best ways to keep your mind at bay.

Idle hands are the devil's playground

Stay strong during these troubling and unforeseeable times. Things can get rough and seem like they can never get better. It takes time for things to get better but things can get worse with just one decision. Stay safe out there and think of every decision you make. It has taken me 9 years to feel somewhat normal but it would only take one bad decision to have things start to crumble down.

If you are feeling some kind of way and do not know what to do, reach out to whoever you feel is closest to you. If you have no one that is closest to you and do not know who to reach out to, I am always here and willing to talk. If you are in need of a friend or just someone to help talk you out of a bad decision, I will do my best to help you along your journey in life.

Keep your head up and focus on a goal, you only have one chance at this thing they call life.

Please remember to like and comment for more content! I appreciate everyone for taking the time to read my article!

I would love to hear other people's trials and tribulations. If you are willing to share I would love to hear some of the struggles you have gone through in life and how you were able to overcome them.

Until next time my friends.

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Written by   197
5 months ago
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Comments

Hats on you, sir. I truly respect you with ypu opening up your story with the world. Truly, it takes courage to share such experience you once had.

Addiction is something that we cannot cure in just a snap, it takes time. Sometimes, people that fell into this despair were just forgotten at the bottom of the pit. Good thing, you have step up and tried to change.

It's an inspiring story. I knew people (personal acquaintances) that had been fallen into addiction too but slowly they have been changing and I hope they could truly be. Thanks for this, I hope that some time from now, you will freely let yourself from the shackles of your own past.

Thank you for inspiring us!

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5 months ago

Thanks for the amazing and uplifting comment. I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and kind of get an idea of what it was like.

It is not how your raised or how much money you have. Addiction can take hold of the best of us.

I appreciate your kind words and I wish good energy on you, my friend.

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5 months ago