A young man started to work as a farmhand and his first task was to chop wood. Hour after hour he worked with untiring zeal. At the close of the day when the supervisor inspected his work, he Was surprised and delighted, for the youth had completed twice the average work load. The second day the boss decided to reward this energetic lad by giving him an easy assignment. Leading him to piles of potatoes, he instructed himn to separate them, throwing the good ones in one heap and the decaying ones in another. But when the manager returned at the end of the day, to his utter amazement, the job was not completed. The distraught youth, with beads of perspiration on his brow, declared, "Sir, the hardest job for me is to decide which is good and which is bad."
CHOICES
Making choices is usually a difficult assignment. But all through life we must make them. Some choices are insignificant, but others are far- reaching in their consequences. One of the most important decisions in life is the choice of a marriage partner. Let us look at some tests that could be applied when choosing a mate.
AGE
Significant differences in age can prove to be a liability in marriage. This is so because at each step of the life cycle our needs are different. There are the early years of excitement with professional upward mobility, childbearing, and childrearing. There are the middle years of concern with menopause and midlife challenges. Then come the senior years of retirement with limitations and reminiscence. If there are serious differences in age, one partner may be running in excitement while the other is lying in retirement.
CULTURE
People who live in various parts of the world are products of different cultures with varying lifestyles and value systems. To the lady of India, for example, the cow is sacred, but to the man in America, that creature is tor steak. Some cultural differences are surmountable, but many of them can only be overcome if partners are aware of the issues, and are prepared to address them patiently and intelligently.
WEALTH
While a marriage should be built on love, a couple cannot live on love! They also need some money. Unfortunately, some weddings are motivated by money. But marriages born in money often die in misery. It does not mean that the man should be wealthy, but he should have the ability to earn some wealth. He should have the capacity to support a family. Scripture says that the man who deliberately refus to provide for his family is "worse tha infidel"(1 Timothy 5:8, kjv). an This spirit of dustry is requirement for the prospective fe also. In his description "a wife o noble character," Solomon said, she of "works with eager hands," she pro vides food for her family" she she "sets about her work vigorously," and "does not eat the bread of idlene (Proverbs 31:10, 13, 15, 17, 27). Whether working outside the home to earn wealth, or working inside the home to manage wealth, a good wife is an industrious woman.
HEALTH
Just as important as wealth is the measurement of health, for without health it is difficult to earn wealth. So it is wise to examine the health of one's lover. And since some diseases are transmitted from partner to partner, and others are transmittable from parent to child, a health check is imperative. But it is not enough to measure the health status; it is also vital to check the health habits of the potential mate. Addiction to lawful drugs like alcohol and tobacco, as well as to the unlawful ones like co- caine and marijuana, can ruin the happiness of any home. God's desire is that lovers should "enjoy good health" (3 John 2).
Ambition
Ambition impels people to be successful in personal life, in professional life, and in married life. Ambition plays no favorites; it befriends people from all walks of life. It motivated Abraham Lincoln, a log cabin lad with hardly a year of formal schooling, to become the 16th presi- dent of the United States of America! It inspired Florence Griffith Joyner to run from a Los Angeles ghetto until she grasped three gold medals in the 1988 Summer Olympics, and be rated "the fastest woman in the world!" Ambition challenged Ben Carson to change from wielding an angry knife as a disgruntled teenage street fighter to guiding the scalpel as an interna- tionally renowned neurosurgeon! God desires that we be humble but ambitious. Scripture says, "The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord...,you will always be at the top, never at the bottom" Deuteronomy 28:13). Ambition and education, be it academic or Vocational, are almost inseparable. It is usually an asset when partners can re- volve within the same educational or professional orbit. If, for example, one is a university graduate and the other a high school dropout, the spouses are likely to drift farther and farther apart fromn each other as they orbit in different social circles, and find fewer and fewer areas of Common interest.
PERSONALITY
Another area that is worthy of examination is personality, for people possess different temperaments. There are four basic classifications: two are introverts and two are extroverts; two are emotional and two are unemotional. While many personalities cross these boundaries and create combinations, usually, one temperament is dominant.
Sanguine
are the emotional extroverts. They are called influencers. They are talkative, enthusiastic, outgoing and full of charisma. On the other hand, however, they tend to be impulsive and self-centered, living for today and forgetful of tomorrow.
Cholerics
are the unemotional extroverts who are called doers. Decisive and efficient, they are goal setters and go-getters. They possess strong willpower and delight in managing different assignments, but they also tend to be impatient and insensitive, inflexible and demanding.
Melancholy
is the third category. These emotional introverts, the thinkers, have an eye for detail and are analytical, thorough, and orderly. They also tend to be serious, diligent, and sensitive. But their inwardness encourages them to brood over their past mistakes, to be pessimistic, and to suffer from low self-esteem.
Phlegmatics
the unemotional introverts, are very supportive and agreeable. They would rather forego their rights than face confrontation. These effective compromisers, called relaters, possess fine interpersonal and diplomatic skills. However, they tend to be indecisive, seldom use initiative, and favor the status quo. When the temperament test is completed, partners need to ask themselves some frank questions. How does my lover's personality relate to mine? Are we similar or different? How much are we differ- ent? Is this difference welcome, tolerable, or unbearable? Some differences are welcome. Jane, the unemotional introverts admires the spirit of Joe, the emotional extrovert, and sees their union as an asset and an opportunity for her growth. Yet they need to be careful, because the same opposite qualities that attract them to each other before marriage, possess the potential to repel them from each other after marriage. Other differences are not welcome, but they are tolerable. Still others, however, are unbearable. Melan- choly Mary with her timid oversensitive spirit, finds it difficult to establish a relationship with Jack who is not impulsive, but abusive. . Consequently, she ends their love affair. Centuries ago the prophet ask this this relevant, rhetorical question "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? Amos 3:3, NKJV.
Family Life
When measuring the prospective marriage partner, there is wisdom in checking the family also. This for two reasons. First, one marries not only armes not only the individual, but a whole family. There is a second father, a father-in-law; another mother mother-in-law; new sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law. This new family can prove to be an asset or a liability. Second, children tend to follow the example of their parents reproducing in the new homes the failures or successes of the old home So, the present family often becomes a model for the future famil Scripture attests to this truism of "Like parent, like child," when it says, "You are a true daughter of your mother, who despised her hus band and her children; and you ae true sister of your sisters, who de spise their husbands and their chi dren" (Ezekiel 16:45). Of course, there are exceptos A youth can decide to defy the poo example of parents and proceed 1 d with a family life that is metrically different. This is not easy, but with awareness, determination, and divine help, it is possible.
Spiritual Life
The most importan test for potential marriage partners is spiritual life. This is because there are two spiritual forces in the world today, and every marriage comes under the control of one or the other. Every new home becomes either a part of the family of Satan or the family of God. While the devil delights to lead each home wedding to brokenness, heartache, and sorrow, Christ enjoys guiding joy. However, it is only when both every marriage to healin peace, and every partners commit their lives to the Lord that supreme marital success is possible. So, two vital questions should be answered. First, have I given my life to Jesus? Second, has my partner made a commitment to Christ? To put it differently, in order to make the right choice in marital life, prospective partners need to make the right choice in spiritual life. n order to have a happy family, we must become members of God's family. This brings us to the third big question How does one become a part of the family of God? How does one make the right choice? The experience of Jacob helps us to answer that question.
New Start
When the second of the twins Was born, they called him Jacob. His name meant "cheat," "deceiver." And that's just what he proved to be. He stole from his brother and fooled his old, blind father. Then he had to Tun for his life and was separated from his beloved mother forever. On and on he ran until night Caught him. It was dark outside, but it was much darker inside, for it was nighttime in his soul. Jacob was miserable. He felt disgusted with himselt, disappointed over his bad behavior, and distressed over his own sinfulness. He longed for a new start. How he wished he could become a different person. Don't we all feel like that Sometimes? In our sober moments, in our quiet hours, or perhaps in our sleepless night, when in silence we commune with our true selves, isn't there a deep desire for a new start? The good news is that although this youth had disappointed God, thee Lord had not forsaken Jacob. As he lay upon the bare ground and fell asleep, he dreamed a dream of hope. He saw a ladder from earth to heaven. He beheld the angels of God, he heard the voice of God, he listened to the promises of God, and he felt the inner thrill of the limitless love of God. Next morning, the fugitive continued his journey to Haran where he spent 20 turbulent years. Financially, he became a man of wealth, but spiritually, he was still a pauper. Deep down inside, he was the same old Jacob-mean, deceitful, and dishonest. More than ever before, he needed a new start.
Three Steps
When he became weary of the scheming devices of his father-in- law, Jacob escaped from Laban and began making preparation to meet his avenging brother. But his emissaries brought the bad news: "Esau t is coming! Arrival time-tomorrow! S Army strength-four hundred! S Jacob was terrified. Unprepared for battle, he felt his need for heaven's help. But how could he claim that help when he was not at peace with God? So, for the tirst time in his lite, this man got serious about his own salvation. He decided to make things right with God that very night, and in the darkness he went off to be alone with his Savior. Finally, Jacob was making the right choice. That unforgettable night, Jacob took three significant steps. The first step was that he met Jesus. As he stood alone in the darkness, this fugitive felt a man's hand upon him. And fearing it was an enemy, he started to fight. But it wasn't his enemy; it was his Friend! The Being looked like "a man" (Genesis 32:24), but He was "God" (verse 30). It was the God-man, Christ Jesus! This wonderful Jesus left the throne of heaven, passed galaxies and constellations, stars and systems, and landed on Palestinian soil to change the life of one man! Christ is the same today. He will meet with anyone who desires to have a personal encournter with Him. He will meet us anytime, anyplace. Suddenly, the Being began to talk, "Let me go, for it is daybreak" (verse 26). And while the Savior talked, the sinner listened. The second step Jacob took was that he listened to Jesus. How does He speak to us today? His Word is the Bible. In Scripture, Christ speaks directly to us John 5:39). Jacob was quick to talk back. "T will not let you go unless you bless me" (verse 26). This is prayer-talk ing to Jesus. Jacob's prayer was earnest. He was really saying, "I need help and I need it now. Bless me. Change my life. Save me. Assure me. I'm staying on my knees until you answer me." That's the third step Jacob took: he talked to Jesus.
The Miracle
Then something miraculous happened. A change swept over Jacob's life. He could not explain it, but he experienced it. It was an act of God! What is your name?" asked the Savior. "Jacob cheater, deceiver". Answered the sinner. Well," said the Redeemer," change that name." Then He declared, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome" (verse 28). A new name! A new charactet A new lifestyle! No longer a thiet no more a deceiver. His life had been changed. He became a truthful, honest man that very hour. His whole soul thrilled with inexpressible joy and incomprehensible peace. He had become part of the family of God. He was saved by grace. That miracle can happen again today. How does it happen? The mystery is that Christ operates on the human brain. He performs spiritual neurosurgery! Scripture says He does it by "the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). Miraculously, He changes the habits and transtorms the thought patterns. Mysterio eriously He gives a new way of thinking, a new style of living. He pires new desires, new affections, new emo tions, new decisions. Miraculously, the thief becomes honest, the liar truthful, the aduterer pure; the drunkard stops drinking, the smoker stops smoking, and the abuser ends the abuse. Mysteriously, there's the break with harmful drugs, freedom from profanity, and victory over worldly pleasure. The proud becomes humble, the careless becomes caring, and the cruel becomes lov- ing. This experience is termed a "new heart" (Ezekiel 36:26). It is really a new head, for the brain has Come under the control of a "new spirit"-not the evil spirit of Satan, but the Holy Spirit of Jesus.
Family of God
Poor Jacob. Why did he wait so long? Twenty years of misery! Then, one single night he got the victory. In one single hour he became part of the family of God. Why did he wait that long? Why do we wait so long? Why wait any longer? Today can be our victory. This very hour can be life's finest hour. The sublime truth is that when both prospective mar- riage partners commit their lives to Christ, experience change in lifestyle, and become members of God's family, they have gained possession of the most vital ingredient of a successful marriage. Why is that so? Because every home is a battlefield with Christ and Satan striving for supremacy. Every spouse is a soldier with allegiance to one master or to the other. If both partners are servants of Satan, that house becomes the devil's domain, a place of endless misery. If one spouse is loyal to Christ and the other to Satan, the strife will be perpetual. But when both husband and wife are committed to Jesus, Christ is en- throned, the devil is defeated, and the family emerges as a family of God. Then the home becomes a little heaven here on earth, a place of love and peace and happiness. Isn't that the goal of every marriage?
Let's have a coffee
Hari
Blessings
Good morning everyone 🌞💵