I've been wanting to write a story of my own, a fictional one, but I still can't seem to find my will to do that.
I get motivated when I see one of my friend writes her own fictions, it sends me the thought of I should write also because why not?
I already have a plots and even the possibly ending. Writing a first chapter won't be that easy but it's not a big deal for me and yet...
Jeez! I'm still having a hard time to start.
I tried looking at some saved documents on my phone -- forgotten docs and was just sitting for quite a while on my files.
I red some of them and notice it contains not only my past school works and softcopy outputs but also my story drafts that has been halted.
I got surprise and also feel good by it cause I did not remember they still existed. What I know is the ones saved on my laptop.
To be honest, I am quite well aware on why I cannot start writing. It's because I am a lazy person.
When I start to write I suddenly feel sleepy or sometimes I just stare at it and get astonished. Yeah, it's the one in your mind right now, mental block or writer's block you call when an auhor is unable to get ideas or inspiration to write.
Also watching my anticipated korean dramas and anime hinders me from writing.
As I watch more and more episodes the more I get hook on the series and I just forget about creating my dream fiction.
Here comes the one you call mañana habit that I have adapted from my nation's culture lol. You can also call it the time where I do indifinite procrastination.
I always ended up saying to myself that I will do it later or next week or next month or until I get a new phone or until before the opening of our classes or when the time comes where I finally have enough motivation lmao 😃.
But that's all absurbed! Why can't I just do it instead of waiting? I could make this article but the fiction that I've been dreaming of...
Or maybe it's because deep within me the truth is, I am not really serious about writing ?
Or maybe I am just too amatuer and lack the talent to create my own fictional story ?
I understand this pain!! Between 2009 and 2015 I used to write/draw a lot of stories, but now I can't find the motivation to write... I still write stories from time to time, but the last story I really drew was in 2017, (I did draw things after that, but it wasn't the same,) and while the quality of my written stories increased, I only find motivation is short bursts every few months.
Well, at least I still write my ideas, so I have a lot to go back to.
One of the reasons, I think, is because in that period, I didn't care about quality. I was writing because it was fun, and the more I think about quality the worse I get... So maybe I should let myself write bad stuff, haha~