Experiences often shape a person's life

Do our experiences shape who we are as people?

I have always believed that we are the sum total of our experiences. Oftentimes, a seemingly insignificant experience may simply change how you feel one day which can cause a chain reaction of how you act on a certain day, and how you act that day could affect your life. Our identity is simply a collection of moments and experiences in our lives.

Having said that, Are the memories we keep from these experiences more important in shaping who we are than the experiences themselves? In my opinion, how we remember or let these experiences influence us plays an indeed vital role in shaping who we are. Our memories of our experiences leave a larger imprint on our psyche that the actual event. We, in turn, absorb these experiences and subconsciously let them define, inform, influence or impact who we are as people in the world. All we have the power to do is learn from it.

However, this begs the question, if our memories and experiences shape who we are, then how can one person justify judging another when they do not know all of their experiences and all their memories of those experiences?

Many academics believe our experiences do shape who we are and that recollections of those experiences are equally as significant.

Look at this from a unique perspective which is the idea that our identity is simply a culmination of our experiences. This thought has always been simultaneously terrifying and liberating to me. Every experience we have shapes who we are in one way or another. Every experience! Even an experience that is not monumental will change us.

It also helps us to know that some experiences are more prominent and influential than others in our life. The most recent experiences have the greatest impact on who we are in the present moment because they are the freshest memories in our minds.

Another question to consider is why we are shaped by our experiences? You see, past experiences are the things that have made up our lives until this point. They are optimistic and adverse events. They are both one-offs and the things we do day in and day out that become ingrained in us. They are of significance to our well-being. We need to comprehend them and how they affect what we do now, in the present, to live a comfortable and fulfilled life. 

These experiences have profound impacts on many areas of our lives including;

Our personality which means our past becomes ingrained in us

Humans are habitual species so what we do day in and day out becomes like an involuntary program, as do our emotional responses to it

This then affects how we address situations & how adequately (or not) we think we can deal with situations 

Hormones and chemicals are discharged in our bodies when we go through particular (stressful or positive) events which mean, that if our body has endured them before then it is on high alert to repeat the same reactions

Our mind and body find the simplest. most comfortable pattern to pursue.

It is then a cycle of pre-empting how we are going to respond, reacting like it and re-living the same self-fulfilling prophecy

The prevalence of people will bring how they feel about themselves from the past and tell themselves pessimistic stories relating to the impending future

Frequently predicting pessimistic scenarios means that our body is always on high alert and we always feel under stress/pressure

Prior relationships and ordeals with family, friends and loved ones have a huge relevance to the person that we are today. If we have always been cared for in a certain way, we end up becoming that person

Regular behaviours and experiences become like a program that we follow day in, and day out. People stop using their minds and become imprisoned in a chronic cycle of process and emotion.

Break the cycle

Written by: Ada

Thanks for Reading!