Her regrets

[SP] You don't have to go anywhere in order to abandon someone

As Alice took one last look at what was supposed to be their haven, she couldn’t help but bite on her lower lip to stifle her sobs. It wasn’t that she had no other place to run to but at that moment, she felt as if no place in this world would be as accepting as his apartment ever was. But now was not the time to be reminiscing about all the good times. Now was the time to make a run for it before he could wake up and tell her something might make her change her mind. 

It wasn’t always like that. No. When things were starting, they were oh-so-happy. No day was ever dull. 

She could clearly remember when they were 18 and had both just started their college days. Out of sheer dumb luck, they had bumped into each other at the corner, only to find out that they were headed to the same class anyway. And although it was just their orientation class, she could still remember how they would try to steal glances of each other in that lecture hall even when the official philosophy lecture finally rolled in and how she would turn beet red when their gaze would actually meet. She never knew how he reacted since she had always been the first to look away but she had hoped she had the same effect on him. 

Yes, she could also remember how he had come up to her to officially introduce himself because attendance was not taken in that class but a quiz at the end of the class that served as their attendance and grade. Alice had gripped on the strap of her bag much tighter as she recalled how adorable he was as he stuttered in his introduction and even invited her to have lunch with him, if only she hadn’t accepted the offer. She wouldn’t be in this kind of chaotic mindstate now. But it was already too late. 

She shouldn’t have believed his promises that evening when he first asked her for a date because now they barely meant anything to him. She shouldn’t have given so much of herself when he made it official and they were free to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Now she can’t even figure out who she was before she met him. She knows there’s no one to blame for what had befallen them but. Things like regret happen but she was sure she didn’t regret everything in their 5 years together. 

It didn’t even feel like they had been dating for 3 years when he asked her to move in with him in an apartment just a  few minutes away from the University. She didn’t even realize how much he stopped putting up the effort when they finally settled in with each other. Her friends said it was normal but it didn’t feel like that. Or more like, she didn’t want to accept the fact yet. She had still hoped that he would come around and plan something just for both of them but that never happened. 

She was aware of the bills, their final years in university, and their need to keep up their grades despite working. She was so painfully aware of those things since they carried the same routine every single day. Work, break, class, study, repeat. And despite how he was just in arm’s length, it felt as though he was already so far from her reach. 

By their final year in uni, he barely spoke to her. Only focused on his classes and the bills. Yes, she understood that they were both going to be climbing up that stage soon and maybe it was just the pressure that was making things harder for them but that wasn’t the case at all. 

Despite having graduated and landing a better job, nothing seemed to change. He would just come home to their shared apartment and utter a greeting or two but as soon as she finished serving the food and they both finished eating, it was off to bed with them or if a good movie happened to play then they would watch it in silence until either of them would just fall asleep. 

After a year of that and no changes despite the effort she had put into some things, that was when she had realized that you don't have to go anywhere in order to abandon someone. You just had to tear down every effort they made and then live life as if you did nothing wrong. 

Sharing a bed meant nothing when she would only awaken to find the other side empty. On her last night in their apartment, he would be in for the biggest surprise of his life when he woke. And that would be her absence. Absence from his life entirely. 

I'm not sad or anything and this is not my story but lol XD the prompt looked so good to me and I kind of based it on the story of a friend of mine. This was just sitting in my drafts too, just thought of finally finishing it up