The unexpected tap

I have recently fallin in love again with reading. I was once an active reader during my youth and I really do enjoy doing so. Growing up I have enjoyed other things more interesting than reading and so the once enjoyable hobby becomes an annoying compliance usually required by school. When Gay and I broke up, I got back to reading just to keep my mind busy and just so I can stop thinking about her even just for a little while.

The strength in our scars.

During one of my monitoring flights, a left behind book was endorsed to me. This was way back a few months ago before I met Gay. The book was unclaimed and so I went and purchased the book.And never thought that this book would help me understand my pain when my heart was broken. The whole book made me realize the things that seemed hard to understand or so I thought it was. I have never been so affected by someone before until Gay. She build me a castle but she was also the one who wrecked it. She gave me beautiful dreams then she turned it all to nightmares. She showed me how it feels like to be treated with all the green flags I've been praying for but she turned out to be the bloodiest red flag of all. And that book made me understand what I was going through. That book saved me from begging for something not worth begging for. Some of the answers I already knew but I still kept on asking the same questions like I needed a reconfirmation of what I know. Everyday was like a battle between my heart and my mind and most of the time my heart for some reason keeps on winning. So pathetic! And that book made me realize that I need to work something out so that this time my mind will win. Overthinker. And my mind tried so hard to win my battles. Missing her has been the toughtest since I tend to give in. I was chasing someone unreachable like vanishing in thin air. My only consolation was that she broke my heart but was honest with everything. Everything from one lie to the other. Atleast a cheat was honest because I do deserve to know the truth.

You are not broken, you are becoming.