Muslim woman is allowed to approach a man with a marriage proposal, if she comes to know of a man who has good character, Deen and would be a good husband, she can approach him in an honorable way with a marriage proposal. This may be seen as improper or brazen in some cultures. But that is a cultural attitude, not an Islamic one.
We live in a society where we are of the mindset that it’s the man who should always make the proposal for marriage. Our society set rule that it’s the man who has to propose and make women feel guilty or ashamed as if they would be doing something so wrong and
unacceptable by asking for a man’s hand in marriage. So many women wait and wait on the man to propose, and sometimes months and even years go by, and if a man doesn’t propose, the woman herself become a question mark. In some cases when a daughter dare to suggest a suitable man to her parents which considered a crime, and also considered rude and offensive and automatically deemed to mean that she is involved in an illicit relationship with him. All these culturally-driven notions and customs are against to the teachings of Islam.
There is nothing in Quran or Sunnah that would suggest that it is prohibited for a woman to initiate a marriage proposal. According to Islam , there is no problem for a Muslim woman to propose to a Muslim man. Islam gives a Muslim woman the right and
honour to make such a proposal without feeling guilty or ashamed. Our best role model is the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) and in this veiw we can find a most beautiful example. When a proposal sent from Ummul-Mumineen Khadijah (RadiyaAllah
Anha) to Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him), through her friend “Nafisah”. Nafisah delivered the proposal to our Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him). And He accepted this proposal. Obviously Allah would never have permitted him to accept a proposal from a woman if doing so was in any way shameful or improper. There is absolutely no prohibition in Islam for a woman to propose marriage to a man. It is perfectly fine for you to approach the man in a most honorable way and let him know your intentions by hinting or being flat out about it, depending upon the noble custom in your society. It should be done through the proper and reasonable channels and without violating any rules of Shari’ah. A woman could do this would be to ask her parents to approach his parents; or to send a message through someone who knows him (for
example his sister, aunt, cousin, etc) that she is interested, in order to learn if he also might be interested. She can also approach him
directly and raise the subject, as long as she follows Islamic rules of etiquette (meeting in public, having a chaperone, no flirtatious or
sexual speech, lowering the gaze, etc). It doesn’t matter who propose, as long as its done in a good moral way within Islamic morality. And it is also perfectly acceptable for a woman’s family to propose marriage. Unfortunately, however, there remains a stigma within certain Muslim cultures against a woman’s family proposing or initiating marriage talks. Umar ibn al-Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) offered his daughter,
Hafsa (Allah Be Pleased With Her), not only to one but two individuals: Usman (Allah be pleased with him) and Abu Bakr al-
Siddiq (Allah be pleased with them), latter-on the Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) himself asked for the hand of
Hafsa (Allah Be Pleased With Her) from Umar ibn al-Khattab (Allah Be Pleased With Him).
Similarly, when the Prophet of Allah, Shu’ayb (Peace Be Upon Him) observed the beautiful character of Prophet Musa [Moses](Peace Be
Upon Him) and his praiseworthy attributes such as trustworthiness, he proposed marriage to him for one of his daughters. So it is also proved, there is nothing wrong with a woman’s guardian (wali) proposing marriage on her behalf to a righteous and suitable
man.
We need to remind ourselves that it was Khadijah (Radiya Allah Anha) [the Prophet’s first wife] who asked for the Prophet’s hand in
marriage; and it was then and still is now an honorable thing to do.
So sisters, it is within your right to make the first move. If there is a good brother out there that you like as a husband, then don’t be
ashamed or afraid to ask for the brother’s hand in marriage. If you are too shy or afraid to ask, then let a family member, your parents or
even a good friend ask on your behalf. Then Allah will put baraka in it. And remember, our religion Islam is the religion of easiness & peace, do not create confused methods and do not set complex-ed & baseless rules in your life and as well in society, try to investigate and
think about the problem and it’s solution according to Islam and find and follow the straight path in the light of Islamic teachings,
ancestors can not save us but the light of Islam brighten our life here in this world and also life hereafter.
And Allah knows the best........
Good article