April 4, 2022

It matters not when someone is born, but what they grow to be - J. K. ROWLING

Oh my readers, I didn't slept last night. The whole night I was busy looking for updates in the Grammys. Grammy is one of the prestigious music award show and my favorite BTS is nominated for Best Pop or Duo Performance for the song Butter. As a passionate Army, I don't want to be left behind with all the news, videos and pictures, anyone in Twitter will be posted.

BTS is now at Las Vegas, and I lost sleep because of the 15 hour time differences. The show will start there at the evening I think, and the time here in my country for the preliminary award is 3:30 am. The red carpet will be at 6am in PH time and the main show will start at 8am. I have nightshift job at 8pm up to 4am so I am wide awake during that time. I tried to sleep after 4am and woke up before 6am for the red carpet.

I short, I able to watch all the shows for Grammy and I successfully supported BTS. They didn't won but their performance is a winner to all of us Army. For us, a successful and memorable concert makes them a winner. Moreover, congratulations to all the winners of 64th Grammy Music Awards. By the way BTS performed their song Butter and they are awesome to next level!!!

So what is my topic again? Sorry for always squeezing my favorite BTS in my post. I think when it comes to them, I am always happy to write. When I write about them, I always have something to say and I'm excited. This made me realize how lucky BTS members are. They are born in this world and destined to be one of the important people of their generation. They worked hard to achieve what they are achieving right now. They had been through a lot in life and they deserve all the love. They are the kind of person that never stop achieving their dreams because they really want it. The are receiving the rewards of their painful hardship from the past and I adore them with all their charm.

This made me look at myself. What kind of person I am? When it comes to BTS I am their devoted Army. I'll do everything to support them. I might not give my life but they have my time. They might not thank me personally but I'm doing this for free because of my big love for them.

However, I cannot be forever like this. There will come a time that I will no longer support them. Or maybe there will be time in the future that I will be focusing on my life and they are still my outlet. Whenever I reflect myself at night, I ask myself a question. What kind of person I am now? For my decision 10 years ago, what kind of person I become. I have problems with myself to deal with, why not solve it first.

I am a person who plans a goal but can't finish it

Yes, I am aware that consistency is my number one problem, but another reason came out while I cannot achieve a goal. Maybe because I just want it, but I didn't think I badly needed it. When it comes to BTS merchandise I able to save money, but I fail to buy myself a new shoes. This is so bad of me. Shoes are needed for my work and up until now I am using an open sandals. Not only that, I love to write a plan. I know I want these plans to be executed but I feel I just want it. I should feel that badly needed it to really do it.

Solution, when I know I want something, I should have the feeling that I really want it. That I should know what help could it give me to change my life, what kind of benefits I would get from it. I should have those reflections written on my plan.

I am person busy with other's life rather than my own life

Yow, yow!! Of course, perfect example is my support to BTS. I am updated by them, their online concert and merchandise. I always support them. By always supporting them, I forget my own life. I have my own life to deal with it. Not that I offery time to BTS for 24 hours, not that way, but I always have BTS in mys system while having my private life. I even make them a priority. No, no, no!! This is wrong.

Actually early in the morning, I felt frustrated because I was preparing myself to work but I kept on checking my phone. Why finish preparing myself first and then check BTS updates after? That simple thing I cannot give to myself. Being busy with other people's life is something that I'm doing bad. I shouldn't neglect what I needed to do with my life.

Solution, make myself a priority. I need to sleep rather that watching TikTok content. Have time management, but everything about me should come in first. If BTS can pay me for every TikTok content I watch them, I will make them a prio3. In fact, thy is my dre job, watching BTS content and being paid for it.

I am a person who accept change, but never comfortable with it

Oh, when it comes to change, whatever change it brings in my life, once I felt discomfort, I don't want to do it anymore. I am a coward. I am weak. I go immediately to my comfort zone that I always regret it. As long as I can get out from it and accept the very difficult stages, that is the only the time my mindset will change and my life too.

Solution, I need to accept change. Going with the flow in change always makes me a better person, I will learn a lot. I should believe that change always give me fortune.

You, what kind of person are you now? For sure you have problems to deal with yourself and you are the problem sometimes. What are your plans to solve it?

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Images, Twitter random pictures, my own picture and Unsplash