It will get better tomorrow

I once wrote a letter to myself in memory, it happened after a breakup that almost tore me apart, the only way I could heal was to let it out, so I did.

This experience made me learn the importance of time and the good thing was I had to figure it out on my own.

A lesson self-taught lives long in the mind, just as good as a child knows fire is hot by touching a hot lamp

While reading this, don't feel bad for me...lol. I'm sure we have all had to face this at a point in our lives, at least most of us... Plus, I have always had a flair for dramatics.

I need to focus, but it's hard to do that when you have a lot of voices screaming in your head. I try to let it out but they all want to come out all at once. So I try to choose one by deciding on which topic to write on but I can't seem to find anyone.

I feel lost yet found at the same time, it all feels different now, everything. The color of the sky, the smell of the cold wind, the chirps of the lovely birds singing outside my window. I feel everything and nothing.

They often say time heals everything but does it? I wish I could forget everything that happens and just move on like you never existed but I can't, the memory of you still lingers on.

I go to my playlist, trying to find something to keep me distracted but somehow it feels as though Ed Sheeran and Bruno Mars probably got the memo and keep playing sad songs to make matters worse.

Okay, I know what to do, reading my books should probably help distract me even for a moment, which only makes matters worse, I can see your handwriting on my note, you had helped me once when I was feeling lazy.

Why did it have to end, was it my fault? What we had was special but we can't talk about it anymore. They say love is a pain but there has got to be some beauty about it.

I take a walk down the street one night, I see happy couples smiling. Wait, what? Why does it look like everyone has someone? Am I the only one who is single tonight? I pick up my phone, I had deleted your number from this device but it is still saved in my memory. I tried dialing it but had no idea what to say, so I don't.

I still saw you last night in my dreams, I made a joke and you were smiling, I was really happy. I always loved seeing you smile. For a moment there I forgot the pain. I wanted to live in that dream but dreams don't last forever.

I am awakened by my morning alarm, this time it sounds as though I could speak alarm, "beep beep beep" translates to "wake up man, you have to stop hurting yourself".

You know what? You are right, it's time for me to move on. I am strong, yes, I am. I got up and headed for the kitchen, made a nice toast and hot tea, switched on the TV searching for any form of Comedy, SpongeBob is on, Nickelodeon has always been my go-to Channel for entertainment.

The day is looking better, I guess I was wrong, this does get better with time. It has only been a week since you have been gone and I think I am feeling better.

Boy was I wrong, it was looking bright but it got dark fast, I mean literally, the power was off and I must face my demons again.

I am never going to love again, never. If this is what love feels like, it should be banned. Why can't you just focus on pumping blood, that's your primary purpose after all.

Do you believe you only love once? What is next after this? I have no idea. Now I'm lost, with no sense of direction, no one to guide me out of this chaos. I finally hit rock bottom.

Hmm, you know, there IS one good thing about hitting rock bottom, the only way to go is up. You have knocked me down but I will not stay on the ground, I will rise.

I open my Power playlist, oh, now I'm motivated to keep fighting. Here is a peak

Life is hard without you I must confess, but it must go on, so I hope you are happier, I hope he treats you better than I ever could. Do the things you must. I guess whatever happens happens for a reason, I had to lose you to love me.

I added some spice at the end, Happier is a song by Ed Sheeran, Treat you Better by Shawn Mendes, and Lose you to love me by Selena Gomez

The past is the past for a reason, we may learn from it, but not live in it. We can not change what has happened, but we can actively shape the future.

I am reminded of a quote we had to learn by heart back in secondary school

Time is all I want,

Time is all I have,

I want time, I need time.

We were made to recite this every morning, but we didn't get the point. I didn't get the point until now.

Regardless of who you are, rich, poor, old, young, the richest man on the planet to the better on the street, we all have time, what makes the difference is how we use it, do you want to waste it thinking about a past you can't change, or plan for a future you can. Regardless of the choice you make. Once time is gone, you can't have it again.

This should be something really good and important to think about.

Treasure the time you have here on earth, be good, live life, and don't be afraid to fall in love, yes, sometimes it hurts, you learn from it and you move on.

Remember, IT WILL GET BETTER TOMORROW

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Reference

My music playlist

The movie, before the dawn

Lead Image from Unsplash