Today, I received some bad news,
About the passing on of a dear friend.
I feel ashamed to call my friend dear,
Because I saw my friend slowly die and I did nothing.
It began some time back, when I noticed my friend stopped smiling.
Though I noticed, I never asked what was wrong.
We live in a day and age of everyone minding their own business.
My friend's well being should be my business.
Then I noticed my friend disappearing online.
My friend stopped posting, was nowhere on social media.
I never bothered to ask why,
I was busy connecting with those who are active.
Then my friend stopped coming to worship,
We used to sit together during prayers.
I never followed up why the absence.
"I don't beg people to come to worship" I thought.
Then I started hearing stories about my friend,
In fact, I ganged up with others to gossip about my friend.
We gossiped as if we are experts of how my friend should live,
I gossiped, instead of reaching out.
When I scrolled through my phone book list,
I passed my friend's contact.
I waited for my friend to speak to me first,
Knowing very well my friend seemed to be going through something.
When my friend did call, I ignored.
I failed to reply the messages, too busy.
Or maybe I thought my friend was calling to ask me for money,
Based on the gossip I was told.
I used to pray for my friend,
But slowly I stopped.
It appears that out of sight,
Out of prayers.
Then today, I get to learn my friend has died.
My friend all along was struggling, feeling alone,
Yet all I did was nothing and make assumptions.
My friend was stressed, depressed then committed suicide.
Here I am asked to give a speech at the funeral,
Yet the tears I cry are for how I failed my friend when my friend was still living.
My friend is not coming back for me to love better,
Maybe if I cared things would have turned out different.
Look back and see the friends you have pushed away, ignored or taken for granted.
Call them, reach out to them.
It's better late than never.
What a sad news...