To The ME right NoW

To be honest, This is my first time voicing out everything i been through since i am a type of person who learns to take a deep breath and later on face people with a smile.

It was quite challenging at first since i didnt know where to start this whole thing but yeah, i gotta need to face my fear in order to step up to a better version of me.

I grow up independently since i was 17 years old(i beg my mom for that to happen- 'cause i grow up with a family who does the work to give us a comfortable life but i think its not fair though),so i took part time job to support my daily needs and to finance my study. I graduate with honors in my senior high and sadly, i didnt take up the course i wanted to pursue in college since my mom wont let me travel to another city. I understand it but somehow i felt a little sad for my 50% scholarship i got from that University yet i still accept everything and continue to look forward as i embrace the college life but i didnt know that it was so though and a little different than what i thought about it.

My life messesd up so bad...

It was a roller coaster ride of Learning, Growing, Healing and Unexpected Enjoyment that i would never prayed to come for. It was like i am in the middle of a brewing storm where i have two option to make- one, is to run-away, or two- to keep holding on until i pass that storm and i realize something, it was not the storm that i need to pass but the feeling of being not good enough all the time when i felt like giving up, when all those silent night i need to cried just to ease down my loneliness for being so weak, to that moment where i didnt know where to stand anymore- to that one single tear slid down to my cheek everytime i look up to the blue sky. Im sure, im in my blues and no one knows it.

Im so exhausted, used up, but i keep smiling, I Need too- hindi ko rin alam kung bakit or maybe thats what my inner self told me to do. So to the ME right NoW, Sweatheart, i know how hard you work, i know how much effort you make, how you stumble in a rocky road, how dark and lonely your back was and i know how you wanted to be happy atleast for a moment. Its all the same, we go through like this, 'He ' had plan for this, who knows maybe this is his sign to flourish you for a worthy individual you would be.

If this words of mine today would still be in 10 years laters then i would like to say Hi to the "Me " in the future.

Thank You for not giving up!