To The ME right NoW
To be honest, This is my first time voicing out everything i been through since i am a type of person who learns to take a deep breath and later on face people with a smile.
It was quite challenging at first since i didnt know where to start this whole thing but yeah, i gotta need to face my fear in order to step up to a better version of me.
I grow up independently since i was 17 years old(i beg my mom for that to happen- 'cause i grow up with a family who does the work to give us a comfortable life but i think its not fair though),so i took part time job to support my daily needs and to finance my study. I graduate with honors in my senior high and sadly, i didnt take up the course i wanted to pursue in college since my mom wont let me travel to another city. I understand it but somehow i felt a little sad for my 50% scholarship i got from that University yet i still accept everything and continue to look forward as i embrace the college life but i didnt know that it was so though and a little different than what i thought about it.
My life messesd up so bad...
It was a roller coaster ride of Learning, Growing, Healing and Unexpected Enjoyment that i would never prayed to come for. It was like i am in the middle of a brewing storm where i have two option to make- one, is to run-away, or two- to keep holding on until i pass that storm and i realize something, it was not the storm that i need to pass but the feeling of being not good enough all the time when i felt like giving up, when all those silent night i need to cried just to ease down my loneliness for being so weak, to that moment where i didnt know where to stand anymore- to that one single tear slid down to my cheek everytime i look up to the blue sky. Im sure, im in my blues and no one knows it.
Im so exhausted, used up, but i keep smiling, I Need too- hindi ko rin alam kung bakit or maybe thats what my inner self told me to do. So to the ME right NoW, Sweatheart, i know how hard you work, i know how much effort you make, how you stumble in a rocky road, how dark and lonely your back was and i know how you wanted to be happy atleast for a moment. Its all the same, we go through like this, 'He ' had plan for this, who knows maybe this is his sign to flourish you for a worthy individual you would be.
If this words of mine today would still be in 10 years laters then i would like to say Hi to the "Me " in the future.
Thank You for not giving up!
This is so heart warming, to see someone grinding and keeping their heads up despite all odds. Kudos Ma'am and as the famous phrase goes, Padayon!