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I have been thinking about the difficulties I am encountering with raising my kids. How tos and what ifs. To be honest a mom has a lot of fear and it is hard to remove that fear on ones system. And like it is destined I stumbled upon this certain post on my newsfeed:
Now let us talk about parents responsibilities, fear and some important details I noticed in becoming a parent. Hope you can share your thoughts on the comment section. I'd be more than glad.
If you have been a parent then you should know by now what I am feeling. We are much responsible to every detail of our child. So whatever action you show them and so as words you use to talk to them would be instilled to their minds without you realizing it. There are even cases when it is unintentional say for example when you tried to actually keep them away from hearing you curse but you got pissed over something and realized they are listening. We are always blamed if our child messed up because we should be the best example to them. If they grow up rebel or honorable then it is gonna be because of how we raised them. People won't think of other factor but it is always the PARENTS did or didn't teach the child well.
My child is very much observant and would mimick some words that we utter that is why me and my partner are careful not to have her hear any bad words.
Other than the fear of them growing up and leaving me as I become older I fear that I might not be able to raise them well. I fear that they might grow up influenced by peers or tricked by other people to follow a wrong path.
I remembered when I had an emotional breakdown before I delivered my first baby. All of a sudden I felt such nervous and fear that I might not be good enough. All the what ifs and buts filled in my thoughts and I had no way to burst it out but to cry.
I told my mom, what if I won't be the best mom for her? Then my mom console me said,"For years, you have been a great daughter to me and the best big sister for your siblings. You stand like you are the foundation of our family. So there is no way that you won't be the best parent."
Another thing I fear as a parent is whenever my child gets sick. I am afraid with the possibility of sending them to the hospital. Seeing them on hospital bed with dextrose. Hope NOT! Because really, I have been praying not to let that happen to them.
Saying NO when you can just grant it.
One difficult thing for me is to say NO whenever my children would request for anything when I know I can provide it. Example is whenever they ask for more chocolates and shows me such a cutie face but I would have to say NO because they had more than enough. It is so hard for me to do that so I usually use my partners name so they get to be afraid to be scolded. Then my kids would start having tantrums on me. Lol! But seriously speaking kids would have to learn accepting a rejection or the thought that not everything will be given to them so they won't grow up spoiled.
Here's another thing that I want to share. My eldest just made our wall a canvas. Our supposed to be very neat and clean wall is now full of these:
There's a lot more to the whole room even in our refrigerator. Both my eldest and youngest did this. My mom just laugh it out and told me to just plan out renovating the room and putting a paint on it when they reach 7 years old. LOL! Coz by then they should know that walls aren't supposed to be written with crayons and pencils. Instead of saying no and making it a big deal since I saw them enjoying so hands up. I raise my flag. Because at the end of the day what matters is still their happiness.
I want to normalize things like, them breaking a glass or plate to just clean it up and not making it a big deal. We can buy sets of glass and plates but we can never turn back to the moment when we hurt them with words coz they might grow up with those words as their monster. We are their inner voice so as a parent we should be someone who always say good words other than bad. Though there's spare the rod and spoil the child still I want to talk things over with my baby before using that.
Raising kids is really difficult that I get to ask myself if I deserve them. I always ask my moms advise. What soap to use, what shampoo? should I have them brush their teeth on what age? And a lot more!
I want them to grow up telling the world that I am the best mom. I want them to someday say that they are lucky to have me and my partner as their parents. Moreover, I want to see them on the right path.
You see, I am not just raising a kid.
You are not just raising your child.
We are raising someone's wife and would someday become someone else's mother.
You are raising someone's husband and would also be a dad in the future.
I am viewing it in that perspective. I want them to grow up responsible but there are lots and lots of things that I have to learn.
Wew! Thank you for reading my article. Care to share your thoughts? Have you ever have any personal experience as a parent that you can also share?