Would you think keeping secrets is healthy when it comes to friendships or relationships?
Why do we keep secrets?
These were the questions running through my mind as I continued to work on some tasks in a work from home set up.
I then tried to self assess. Why do I keep secret? What is the significance of confidentiality?
Let us talk about some points that would explain the advantage and disadvantage of keeping secrets.
SALARY
My mom would often tell me before not to state how much I am earning to anybody. Even to her. But I guess she can calculate it well since she knows where my money goes.
But when it comes to relationship like between a husband and wife there should be transparency for money matters. Money is been a hot issue within the family. It is something that both sides should compromise in order to have a harmonious relationship. Most of the couples who undergone struggles worked hard to agree in terms especially when both are breadwinner by their own family.
It is hard to build your own family and still have a baggage but we cannot just turn our back to our parents so we have to inform our partners on that matter so it will not cause chaos.
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
You may not relate to this if you are single but if you are married or living with a partner then hear me out.
Not disclosing what is happening behind closed doors can get you both advantage and disadvantage depending on the situation. Example, if it is about your partners weak points/moments and failures or mistakes that you both were able to work on better keep it to yourselves. No need to spread it out or inform others because some people would try to get involved.
But if it comes to a point where you are being harrassed, battered or abused then this is a different story.
We all have the right to speak up.
PROBLEM/FAMILY MATTERS
You might not agree with me on this but some personal matters or problem be better left unsaid or unstated.
Do not inform people that your mom is not a good cook, no need to tell people that your sister got pregnant with some random guy or no need to inform other people that your cousin is on drugs.
That is why it is best to keep things secret not because you do not trust anyone but this is for your inner peace.
Whatever you say people would end up judging you so it is best when people know less about you. Do not spread rumors or news that may embarrass you in the long run.
...end thoughts...
"PRIVACY IS POWER! What people do not know. They cannot ruin!"
There are times we have to speak up, especially when our life is at risk, or our health in all aspects, is impacted negatively.
But there are also specific things that do not need to be exposed to the world. It does not make things better, it even worsens the situation.
Love this!