WARNING β οΈ
Content on this article can either trigger you or make you sad.
I saw this post from a friend's wall in Facebook and somehow, I felt GUILTY!
I was once like this. If you guys have read my article entitled FREEDOM from My Darkest Past surely you will understand what happened to me. With those experience I never imagined that I could have the chance to be a mom and I was freakin' scared because I am afraid that my long time boyfriend might leave me too if I can't have the ability to be pregnant but other than that I really felt that if I get to experience becoming a mom I would have more reason to live and more reason to strive harder. At that time I was so fed up with all the baggage that comes from being a breadwinner. I wanted to escape such misfortune because it seems like everyone depends on me way too much that every payday I only got little to none for myself. I have a lot of debts by that time that I was so confuse how to repay but at the back of it all, in the deepest of my heart I really wanted a child.
So whenever I pray, especially when I got confuse with what is going on with my life I always ask God to guide me and grant me my hearts desire despite the fact that I sometimes get confuse too of what is really that I desire.
Things are way too much for me that I kept on crying especially whenever I do not know how or where can I ask for any amount of money just to survive a day. There are times that people would have a hard time believing that I am having financial crisis because I work in Call center industry. Most of the people see us as a walking ATM.
When the time came that I got pregnant I was really afraid but my happiness is more visible that just simply being afraid. It was when I am about to give up everything and when God gave me another reason to live. When I knew about my pregnancy I had more chance to smile though during my first pregnancy we really experienced eating once or just twice in a day. I cannot even afford to buy my vitamins and at times I skip going to my scheduled prenatal because I got no money to pay for my fare and the doctor.
My family suffered even more plus my brother was graduating from college by that time and he got a lot of expenses in School plus tuition fee. He even decided not to attend his graduation because I got no money to pay for his tuition good thing we got a helping hand.
But afterall the struggles we are able to survive! I got more courage to stand up and fight. I got more reason to smile and more reason to do best because I know at the end of the day I got two lil darling waiting for me and who calls me,"Mommy"...
...end thoughts...
There is no perfect timing on having kids even if you are so ready and prepared ok having one since it is a lifetime commitment we would never know what life could offer in the long run but with Gods grace and blessings I know that we, parents, can do this! Aja!
They are the ones who gave us strength to surpassed things. To strive harder in life and brings us courage and hope during the hard times. Their appearance to this world and to our life is a gift that will help us more to become a better person because we are aiming to give them brighter future too in order to become a better individual in the upcoming years that we parents can always be proud.. They help us to do things that we don't usually do. . Just seeing them would make us feel more stronger.. With this reasons, it doesn't mean that planning a baby even without any preparation means bad for most of the time. It really depends on how parent takes the obligation. It's a good article, Glez. You don't need to feel sad or guilty wherever you saw and read post like this, because you are a great mom to your daughter. You do things like a normal super hero can do.