Life Regrets

Regrets may be normal to us human since we commit mistakes by nature. We get tempted and sometimes swayed to do things that despite knowing that at the end we will regret it.

Personally, I always train myself not to regret on things and decision I make/made in life because I know that it will be very useless to feel such and let myself be drowned. I want to have a peace of mind to focus on important matters.

But today, I suddenly feel such regret and grief even when I know I shouldn't.

You see, ever since I have always been a giver. My heart easily gets swayed by those people I value especially in times of need. I dream of doing my best to make every people in my life happy. I always wanted them to know that I am someone they can turn to without thinking if there could be anyone I can turn to if I will be the one in need.

For the first time, I regret giving my all that I leave nothing for me.

For those who knew me, you may be aware that pandemic and typhoon Odette hit me big time, financially.

With this and up to now it has always been a struggle to get through day by day.

Way back, when someone would need my help I am always ready to assist. I would even loan on behalf of someone else and help them pay if I have extra.

But now, that I am in need it felt so hard to ask help nor find one.

When I found out I was pregnant, my first reaction was I got scared then when realization hit me, I got anxiety, just by thinking about a lot of what ifs and things that I have to go through. Do not get me wrong I am happy but that gets beat up by more negative emotions especially the need to survive.

Inflation rate just add up to all of these. The rise of prices of goods and services without even any additional income to depend on.

My life has never been easy but I continue to pray.

Praying is something that I am trying to fulfill everyday just to calm my mind, body and soul from all these negative thoughts.

With all these that's going on with my life there's this unexplained feeling in which I get to tell myself, "I will never be the same again".

I am not actually complaining about not getting anything in return but what I am trying to say is, I have always been a good person but why is it so hard to seek help when I am the one who needs it?

To be honest I have been demotivated to write anything. If you ever noticed I never tried hard entering Hive or other platforms because my will to look for a good topic to write about is been clouded.

• Health issues

• Bills

• Never ending debt

• Vitamins and medicine

• Food

Have you ever felt like you have been too good that it became so easy for people around you to abuse you?

Have you ever regret being kind?

Have you felt the need to escape and wish to just die or disappear?