Job of 7 years

I got no better explanation with the thought running in my mind right now.

Praying for my work computer would suddenly have technical issues so I have reason to be absent is something. Being absent is not my thing but if I am to be honest I want to just stay in bed and enjoy the moment. I want to sleep straight 20 hours if I can. It seems like my body wants to give up but my dream of having a better future for my children won't allow me. Yet, those thoughts about my plans, my future isn't helping out. It is not enough to fuel me back to my usual pace. I do not feel productive because my brain isn't functioning well.

Tomorrow is gonna be my SEVENTH YEAR ANNIVERSARY in Call Center industry and it happens not just once that I get fed up with the pressure and too much work loads. I don't know, maybe I just need a break.

The last time I had a good sleep and a leave was last Christmas Vacation. I had 10 days leave by that time so I was able to redeem myself and get back on track. Now, it is hard to ask for leave with a back to back task. I understand that business is booming and I have to be thankful.

I have the best Boss to be honest. Someone who trusts me and someone who is so pro-employee. Someone reasonable enough to put his subordinates first. He is someone transparent to us and also recognizes our hardwork. So I am having a hard time deciding if its time for me to look for a job that has a normal working hours. I want to experience that 7am-5pm at work and being with my family at night.

I don't know. Seems like I am losing my motivation and interest of the job that I have cared so much for 7 years. I have been on a graveyard shift since last month and this schedule has been a total struggle. I hope this is just because I am tired and nothing serious because I love my job but I need rest. All the admin tasks keeps circling in my head that even in my sleep I can dream of it. Like literally!

I wanna be productive but the schedule makes me weak, I can't have a good sleep. The longest sleep I can have is just 3-4 hours. Don't have any choice though. Seven years ago, when I signed up for the contract it says there that I should be willing to work on a graveyard shift. Not thinking that it can affect me. Health wise, this industry is never the best choice coz it makes your life a lot shorter. Lack of sleep, not being able to eat your meals on time, routine that your body is not used to.

There are cases that I feel like I am "Over fatigue" because of working more than the needed number of hours just to finish the admin tasks. I am too stress to think which makes me feel less productive.

But you know what, whenever I see a carpenter, a street cleaner it makes me realize how lucky I am to have this job. I try then to console myself so I won't think of resigning and look for another one. I don't wanna start over but I am seeing that the other neighborhood looks green-er. (LOL!) If you know what I mean.

But I have to hold my horses. So tonight, I decided to pray and let God decide for me. I will give it all to him.

I know deep down inside I still care for my job. Hopefully I will be allowed to go on break and redeem myself for awhile so I can think properly and have a better rest.

What do you guys think?

Thank you for reading this article. This is just some sort of personal thoughts but I wish it is worth your while.

Comment down below if you wanna say anything. I am up for an advise or feedback.

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