Am I Being Selfish for choosing Myself First?

I have been contemplating about this for a couple of weeks now.

Is choosing myself first once in awhile makes me selfish?

Two years ago pandemic hit the country so bad that we had to be on LOCKDOWN. It made us feel mixed emotions but in most cases it is more of the anxiety and depression. A lot of my fellowmen lost their jobs and suffered financial loss but then as the months pass by we were able to realize how valuable it is to spend time with our family. I personally have lost a lot of relatives and acquaintances, some of you might have lost your family members as they got infected with the virus.

All these made us cancel our plans and even forbid us to see each other. Gatherings even when private or within the family is not even allowed while on public, despite being together with a family member you have to keep your distance as protocols.

Now, we are having better days though we should not put our guard down because the virus is still around the corner and there is this monkey virus spreading somewhere outside the country which is very critical.

Everyone were not able to travel before but now that travelling is already allowed so as gathering our team decided to push through with our long overdue TEAM BUILDING. Just that, our finances is not good but then I would really love to come. I want to enjoy, I want to breath, I want to have fun at least once with my colleagues at work. I want so much to be so selfish that I am not even thinking if there would be anything left in my salary for our food and other needs.

I wish, just for this one that someone would tell me,"Do not worry Glez let me handle your pocket money", or "Glez here's a little of what I have so you could save for the upcoming Team Building", or "Hey Glez I will take care of the rest, go and have fun!".

Though I kept on telling my family I am joining and even said yes when I was asked by my colleague but then I question myself if I am doing the right thing? I wanted to do this but then the mom, the daughter and the sister in me is nagging me about being irresponsible but what about this once in a lifetime opportunity to enjoy and breath out of the world that I am in?

It is not like I will go there to go wild or something but really just to give myself a break.

I want to see a different place, a beautiful one so I can continue to appreciate living.

...end thoughts...

Can you tell me, if I am being a bad mom, bad sister and a partner?

Am I bad for at least wanting something?

Image source: Unsplash