Forgiveness

Forgiveness is about acknowledging you want to change and understanding that the energy that fuels your anger and resentment is keeping you stuck. Also, it is knowing that you're willing to take full responsibility for the change. In doing so, you take the first step towards healing.

Admitting you need someone's help to forgive yourself isn't easy. It can be one of the most difficult things to do. But it's absolutely necessary because 'forgiveness' is a verb. You have to do it.

Getting peaceful does not happen overnight. I know because I've been there – I've destroyed relationships, made messes of my life, and surrounded myself with people that don't make me happy, all because I wanted to rush the process. You want peace, but you don't want to give up your self-destructive behavior. It's an impossible battle because you'll always be going against yourself.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to forget, it means you have to let go of the past in order to embrace the future. You were passed over for a promotion, but you're still grateful you have a job. Your best friend canceled on you 10 minutes before lunch, but you still smile at her the next time you see her. Your fiancé forgets your birthday, but you're happy to know you're marrying such a caring person. Developing the ability to forgive is one of the most valuable life skills you can develop. In fact, research suggests that it might actually be better for your health than regularly exercising or eating well.

Forgiving others gives you a sense of relief and can be for you, but doing it for the wrong reasons can do more harm than good. Some may forgive others to feel better about themselves, but the “high of forgiveness only lasts a short while.” In the end, you may feel worse than before.

The act of forgiving someone doesn't wipe their karma clean, and it doesn't mean you're giving them a free pass for something they did to you in the future. It's not even written in stone that you'll be friends with that person again. Forgiving someone is a personal decision, and once made, is yours and yours alone to keep.Using your own experience as an example, have you ever forgiven someone? And if so, did it help or hurt your progress?

All this to say, while forgiveness can be liberating, it's very much a one-sided agreement.

Forgiveness allows us to let go of anger, hatred and resentment. These emotions don't serve us. The energy we spend on them keeps us locked in the past, stuck in pain and unable to move forward. It also stops us from creating new positive memories and lengthens our grief. It means that we are no longer actively seeking revenge, because we are in a place where we want to move forward. We want to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.

Achieving forgiveness can be a difficult process, but there are things you can do to help yourself through the process. For example, when you forgive someone, you may still remember what they did. You may feel fear or caution. But you are no longer angry. In order to fully forgive someone, you must look at them and accept them for who they are. You must recognize that everyone has flaws, and that everyone makes mistakes. You must learn from the past, and then let it go. If you find forgiveness difficult, you should try to examine your feelings about the situation.

I was a bit baffled when recently I heard someone say they couldn't forgive someone because they "didn't want to forget the pain." Sure, there may be some things you don't want to forget - but forgiveness is not about forgetting. But when someone hurts you, it's natural to want to strike back, right? Family members may have been hurt by each other, kids may feel resentful towards their parents or teachers, and friends may feel betrayed by their own friends. And while it might be tempting to hold on to those feelings of anger and hurt, research suggests that holding on to those negative emotions can do more harm than good. Holding on to anger can lead to physical health issues such as increased blood pressure, heart problems, and depression. When someone hurts you, it's natural to want to strike back. But studies show that holding in anger can increase stress and decrease physical health. Holding on to anger can even increase bitterness and make you less trusting of others.

See the world through the eyes of someone who is showing you love, compassion, empathy and forgiveness. If you're looking to be forgiven, practice forgiving others. If you're looking to be accepted, practice accepting others. If you're looking to forgive yourself, forgive others. If you're looking to feel loved, show love.

Finally, Forgiveness is the key to happiness.It is not an easy thing to do. But it can release you from much stress, resentment, anger and pain. You have to make a choice – whether or not you will forgive, because forgiveness is not something you do for another person. It is something you do for yourself.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

Forgiving does not mean that you are saying what happened was ok.Forgiving does not mean that it wouldn’t hurt if it happened again. Forgiving doesn’t mean you have no feelings about it.

Forgiveness means letting go of resentment and pain. It doesn’t mean forgetting.