Break-up in relationships and marriage are now a trend in the society these days, some even go to the extent of not breaking up instead the couples would choose to live together as strangers for the sake of their kids.
After thinking deeply, it occurs to me that a relationship has nothing to do with perfection. Someone faithful and dedicated in the relationship would just come up with some strange attitude that will end up tearing a relationship apart, it is hard to comprehend and for a single guy like me, I get scared of embarking on a forever journey that could end within a short.
Is it not weird?
I keep wondering why someone who loves their spouse and kids would just change all of a sudden. Questions like the ones listed below keep running through my mind.
Was it destined?
Were they pretending all along?
If the parents never loved each other, why should the kids suffer for it?
What changed?
I don't understand how things turn from sweet to sour in a relationship so quickly. I was only five when I started to live with my mom alone and it makes me not understand what fatherly love means and whenever I promise myself not to make my family sad, I get scared because I have seen people who are deeply in love turn enemies for reasons you don't know.
Infidelity has been the key problem to many of these problems we see in relationships but what does it have to do with kids, they aren't the reason for infidelity. Any issue should remain between the parents until things return to normal.
How did I come with the topic?
While I was preparing for the new farming season, I was sitting alone under a tree relaxing after work. A woman living around joined me under the tree and we started a discussion somehow but while we were having this conversation, she asked me how she can prevent her kids from hating their dad.
I was quick to give her a response without asking what happened, my response came from experience because then, my mom would buy us new clothes and tell us my dad bought them. She always said that my dad came home while we were sleeping and he left very early again.
After giving her my response, I asked what happened?, she made it clear that her husband as changed from an angel to a beast not just to her but to the kids as well. Imagine a teenager saying she wants to be a lawyer so that she can sue her dad for not taking care of his family.
The discussion got the best of me and I felt bad because the women are falling victim to this issue mostly in the family.
I am not writing to support or talk against any gender, I am trying to be realistic and the question I could ask myself while discussing was "Are all women bad?"
I am not the kind of person that makes decisions without hearing from all the parties involved but my curiosity steps up when the kids also suffer from these relationship issues.
The woman further explained that there is a family in her compound that her kids play with, the neighbor's kids say good things about their dad and it makes her kids sad.
She stated that there was an evening when her son said that he wished the neighbor was his father because of how much he cares for the family and she had to make it clear that their father is a good man.
When going into a relationship, we must always consider the children we are bringing to the world. I have learned that the effect of these issues mostly tells on the kids.
To every man out there.
Kids become our responsibility immediately we bring them to the world and no matter what comes up in the relationship, we must never let the kids bear the consequences.
To every woman out there.
Nothing about the future is predictable, you shouldn't be completely dependent on your husband.
If you have results, search for a job and if you don't, learn a skill. Empower yourself with something, humans change, and don't wait until the change comes, you should prepare yourself ahead.
If your relationship doesn't have issues, you can support the family with your earnings.
Another thing is controlling the number of kids you have, don't because your relationship is good to make you give birth to so many kids that would become a problem for you to cater for when issues start coming up. I am saying this because some men can choose to abandon kids, no true mother would sit to watch her kids suffer.
To everyone
When going into marriage, don't be blinded by the current situation of things. Look beyond the present, the future should be your biggest priority.
Your concluding statement sums it all up perfectly. Indeed, before one embarks on the journey of life partnership/marriage, one must look beyond the present and also be ready to stand by the decision even when things change in the future.