Hello everyone it's me again, how's you doing anyways? I wish you're all doing well. So far I am good, but a little bit bored 😴.

Anyways, last night while I was scrolling in Facebook, I came across to the post of one of my neighbor in our province. She's selling a beauty products, and I saw that my cousin left a comment in the comment box.

This cousin of mine is for somehow a little older than me. I think she's 7-8 older, yet we had a good relationship as cousin's back then. I have made a good memories with her, as we used to hang out together. She's also my friend in Facebook, but unfortunately I unfriend her, I remove her in my list four years ago because of some misunderstanding. I think it's normal, but I'm a bit different. Once I remove you in my list, it means you broke my trust.

Honestly one of my negative treats is I am a kind of a person who easily get discouraged. Once I get discouraged or someone hurt my feelings, I can treat that person like a total stranger and that's what happen to us. But yeah, honestly sometimes I still miss this cousin of mine, she's somehow part of my teenage year's. However my trust is already broken, and fixing it is some kind of impossible to me.

You know? A broken glass can't be fixed, no matter what.

So when I saw her name, I got curious with her current life and so I started stalking her profile. F.Y.I I'm not a stalker, I am just curious this time😅. Then while wandering at her profile, I have seen from her current photos of how much she age. She looks so different now. Her beauty started to fade and she's already have white hair and wrinkles. I suddenly felt sad. I don't know why? Maybe I just realized that I am also old right now, I just can't feel it since I am always busy thinking about money 😅.

• As I was looking at her photos, I also suddenly felt scared. I can only imagine that sooner or later, my skin will started to crumpled. My wrinkles and white hair's will become visible in my appearance, and I am not ready yet to see myself with that look. I suddenly got some fears of becoming old, and most specially about death😅.

Moreover, as I continue scrolling in her timeline and a shocking truths surprised me a lot. My cousin, which is her older brother, the one who gives blood to my mom when she needs a donor is already dead. I got devastated because his also kind to me. Their house is just a ten steps to our house and so most everyday we saw each other. We even used to tease each other before. Honestly I don't know about his death, nobody tell me. I didn't even heard about his death from my own family, and so I was really shocked.

At first I thought she's referring to a different person, since the photo that was being attached in her timeline is an old man. I forgot that he aged, and of course he's physical appearance also change. The last time I saw him was last 2016. He's still at his 40's and so I didn't recognise him from that photo. I wonder what happened, I know his still at his 50's right now, and for me his still young to be dead.

You know what? I suddenly felt that life is getting more shorter nowadays. People died before they hit 60, and it makes me sad and it's giving me some fear as well.

I know death is part of life, and everyone will reach to that phase. But I never felt this kind of fear before. Maybe it's because I already have a child.

• Furthermore I also felt that my life stop. You know? Because watching how those people whom I used to know before get old, surprises me a lot. Giving me a shocking reaction. It seems like I forgot that every year we get older and older, yet my expectations was I'm still gonna saw them by the way they use to looks before. It's funny how I think this way.

Closing thoughts

l know this tough life makes us busy with our priorities, such as work and responsibilities. This tough life sometimes make us forget that we're getting nearer to our end.

However I wanted to remind each one of you, that we shouldn't allow this busy life to let us forgot how to enjoy life. Have a break, take a deep breath and smile. Life is getting shorter if we forgot to laugh. Take some time to have bond with your family and friends. Enjoy life like it's your last day.

Lead image from Unsplash.com by Aron Visuals