"Behind with my determination"

As a parent, we always wanted the best for our children. We always make sure that we are giving them every thing that they need.

Before I give birth to my son, my partner and I made a decision that once the situation becomes okay, we will both leave the country to work abroad for the future of our son.

At first I was okay with that, but after I give birth to my son. My perspective change and my partner didn't know about it yet. I'm afraid that he might not understand me, that's why I haven't tell him that I don't want to go back in abroad anymore. I can't leave my son, as I know that he needs me more, than any thing that money can buy.

And since I can't work and my savings slowly depleting, I decided to open a small sari-sari store to save some of my savings.

But sometimes life is unfair 😂, we have neighbors but our neighbors didn't want to buy in my store. For no reasons they just passed in my store and buy their needs in a store that was a bit far from my store. I can surely say that I don't have any arrears to our neighbors, because I was just a newbie in this place. I was thinking that maybe because they can't ask some debts in my store as they don't know me.

I honestly do some adjustments, i tried to be more cheerful and friendly. I open up myself to them and sometimes I let them have some debts. But!! The biggest But has arrived. My kindness has been abused and they starting to forgot about their debts. My trust has started to fall, I started to get some stressed because I found it awkward reminding them many times about their responsibility.

When they get fully paid, I started to refuse them when they want to make some debts in my store. I told them honestly what's my reason. And starting that day, they ignored my store.

I'm not being selfish. I'm just thinking about the money that I invested in my store, specially that it's not that big. Even I wanted to roll it to make my investment stable, I can't do it because of their debts, my investment get stock. It actually also ruined my budget.

My store is still open until now, but it's not as good as before. Sometimes I have costumer and sometimes don't. I feel sad watching my store starting to get bankrupt 😅.

Next thing I do is online selling, I purchased different products and sell it online. At first it was okay, but because I was pregnant that time I needed my partner's help.

Sometimes I asked him to deliver the orders for me, but the sad thing was he isn't that willing to help me. There were times that we argued because he thinks that I'm being bossy. I felt discouraged and disappointed towards him, but it didn't stop me.

I stopped with my online selling, and started to sell some Filipino snacks, that I just actually learned from YouTube.

I saved some pictures of my work;

At these time my partner was very supportive. I prepare them and when he go to his workplace he bring it to sell. I was happy that his being so much supportive to me. But because this thing's really takes a lot of work, as a pregnant woman it's hard for me to do such works. My hands also starting to feel numb because I'm always tired, so I decided to stop.

I just save my money, but after I gave birth and because of the pandemic, my partner loses his job. I don't have any choice but to use my little savings.

So next thing I decided and try to use my internet to find some earnings online.

Believe me or not, I enter blogging lol! I know my self, I know that I can't survive in the world of blogging but I still push myself as I am really desperate to do so.

I set up my YouTube channel, choose my name and started to record a Vedio's. I choose to make my own Vedio's than to grab a free Vedio's from the internet and do the editing process to avoid copyrights. It's because I know that I'm not good in editing. I do tutorials in my blog, but because my surroundings isn't the type of place where you can find peace. I always have some extra noised in my Vedio's and it's so distracting. So i find it hard, i find everything in making YouTube blogs was so much hard. There were times that I have to set my alarm at 3: 00 am to make my Vedio tutorial, but I don't get satisfied with my work so i decided to quit 😂.

And here comes the world of crypto's. I finally met the world of crypto. Hoping that this time, i can be able to save some.

I discovered noise.cash because of a group chat. From noise.cash I discover about trading and even Airdrops. Now I am starting learning about trading. I also wanted to try it, though I'm not sure if I really can do it.

And now, I am currently part of these platform. I entered this platform without any knowledge about writing with a poor English, but I am willing and looking forward to learn more. I don't know if how far I can go with my journey here in read.cash.

Closing thoughts:

I still want to give my son a better future, but leaving him is not my choice.

I will keep on trying to find ways, so i don't need to go back abroad for work.

That is also the reason why I keep practicing baking. I am hoping that one day, I can bake a perfect cake and start accepting orders.

My son change my life a lot. I become more strong and independent.

Honestly I didn't realize that I've already faced a lot of failures, just today while typing this article. After those failures and disappointments, I really can't believe that I'm still fighting for my plan.

Truly, a mom can make everything possible for her child.

Thank you for reading ❤️

Lead image source:

• https://speechrighter.com/self-determination/

Written by yours truly:

GarrethGrey07

October 05,2021 16:10