Never love a broken person

[October 20,2021|Wenesday]

"Ate, break na po kami ng boyfriend ko."

Bagsak ang mga balikat kong napaupo sa tabi ni Ate Nikka nang matapos akong magsalita. She immediately downed the cup of her brewed coffee on the table and faced me with no traces of any emotions.

"Ano ba ang nangyari, bunso?" agap niya. I suddenly bit my lower lip to suppress my tears from falling as the bitter fragments of memories invaded my mind.

"He came back with his ex, ate. Ang sabi niya'y hindi pa pala siya naka move on kay Eunice."

And there, droplets of tears finally escaped my eyes. Ramdam ko ang paninikip ng aking dibdib at panghihina ng buong sistema ko. The feeling of betrayal and anger instantly crept into my system.

"After I fixed him? Two years ko siyang binuo tapos ito ang igaganti niya? Ang sakit ate!" hikbi ko sa pagitan ng naghihingalo kong boses.

Ate Nikka still shows no emotion while watching me crying. Her face remained cold and stoic. Dala na rin siguro ng kaniyang pagiging abogada ay gamay na niya ang kaniyang damdamin. She's one of the finest attorney in our city and I knew, she can help me get through this.

"Just five words, Anna. Never. Love. A. Broken. Person." She emphasized those words with conviction as if she's on a trial court.

"Don't love a person who still couldn't move on from his past. You are not a rehabilitation center to fix someone's heart and when they are fully healed, they will leave you as if nothing happened. Don't settle for just a fraction of his love, Anna. You are a woman of worth and not a convenience, not a past time and not a temporary source of validation!"

Every words she uttered seemed like lethal daggers aimed at my heart. It pierced through my bones and I can't help but to tear up silently.

"Let him go Anna because when you still keep him? Ito ang mangyayari sayo..."

She instantly handed me her phone and with trembling hands, I opened it. Their conversation with her husband instantly flashed on the screen. Biglang lumakas ang pintig ng puso ko at pakiramdam ko'y parang may mali.

Ang pagkakaalam ko ay masaya naman ang pagsasama nina ate at kuya Jayvee. May isa na nga silang anak eh.

Pero nang mabasa ang chat nina Ate Nikka at Kuya Jayvee ay tuluyan na akong napaluha because this was how their conversation went.

Jayvee: You are getting colder, my attorney.

Nikka: Hahaha. There's always a reason why a woman gets colder, Jayvee.

Jayvee: What's the problem, love?

Nikka: I saw you with your ex, Jayvee. Hahaha. But that's okay. As long as you are mine and everything is okay for me.

Jayvee: I'm sorry, Nikka. Sorry kung hindi ko sinabi sa 'yo na may communication pa kami.

Nikka: Five years na ang meron tayo at may anak na tayo, Jayvee. Please don't waste it.

Jayvee: I'm really sorry love but I just want to be honest with you because lately, I started to question myself, minahal ba talaga kita? Kasi may nabasa akong infatuation can be that long.

Nikka: Hahaha. For freaking five years? Infatuation lang lahat 'to? You proposed and married to me and you even gave me a baby and you are telling that you are just infatuated with me? That's bullshit! Please give me an acceptable reason next time, Jayvee. I am an attorney and you can't fool me.

Jayvee: I'm still in love with my ex, is that an enough reason to let you go?

Nikka: We have a son, Jayvee so don't you ever dare to come back to your ex and leave me! I'm begging you.

Jayvee: Hindi naman ako aalis sa puder mo but that doesn't mean I am choosing you over my ex. I just chose our child, Nikka. That's it.

—

Hindi ko na kinayang basahin ang convo nila at binigay ko na kay Ate ang phone niya. Sobrang basa na ng mga mata ko sa kaiiyak. Napatingin ako kay Ate and for the first time in years, I saw her crying.

"That's the life you will have if you love a broken person, Anna. Because based on my experience, I'm just a stop over in his life, giving him shelter while waiting his destiny to come out. So next time, never love again a broken person. Because it's either you will fixed them or you're the one who will get broken at the end. And when you get broken, who would fix you? None! You are lucky because you are still young and you can still find a man who can love you without any other woman or sidechick on the story. Because as for me, I am already married with a broken man. So learn from my experience, Anna. Choose the love that is for you and choose the love that chooses you everyday because you deserve that. Every woman deserves that kind of love."

Iyak lamang ng iyak si Ate sa harap ko habang ako ay namamanhid na sa sakit. She cupped my face as she spoke her last words.

"And that is an advice from an attorney. Isang attorney na pinaglalaban ang karapatan ng iba, pero hindi magawang ipaglaban ang pagmamahalan naming dalawa."

-End

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10|20|21 [9:33 am]

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