He fell out of love

[October 17,2021|Thursday]

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 6 years.

It wasn't a secret relationship. In fact, open kami both sides. Everyone around us was even looking forward on our wedding. Especially our families, who had so much high expectations that we would end up together.

Some would say, we are match made in heaven even if we are pursuing different careers. He's a doctor while I'm a lawyer.

We both met when we were in College since we went into the same university. I was there when he was still a student. I was there during his feats and downfalls. I was there when he topped the Medical Board Exam and I was there, too, when he finally worked at an institution.

I became his shelter, his safe haven and his number one supporter of his dreams. I could even remember how I got injury delivering those reports he left for submission. I remembered how I stayed during the moments when he felt down, hopeless and frustrated.

I stayed just to make sure that he has someone to lean on and someone whom he could consider his "home".

Before he took the exam, he told me that I was his inspiration and he kept on muttering things about his plans and goals for our future.

Right after he topped the board exam and worked in an exclusive institution, our relationship became more stronger. And slowly by slowly, we were fulfilling the future we dreamed and planned for years.

For six years of being together, we never had any big fights in that long time of span. Kung pasensiya lang ang pag-uusapan, Mark could've receive an award for having such a long patience and wide understanding.

He'd never allow me to sleep with a heavy heart. He'd always find ways just to resolve our issues and stop our fuss. He'd even set aside his ego and pride when needed. Mas gusto niyang okay kami kaysa sa tama siya.

Our relationship went well naman not until I became overly bothered by this co-worker of his.

He denied it a million of times that they are nothing but just friends. No malice.

But his actions always fail him.

When I had a fever, I badly needed his presence that time but he chose to attend a group event where the girl was there.

When I left my work early so we could go out together and have a quality time, he never answered my call only to find him laughing his heart out on the street together with the girl he told me not to bother with.

My boyfriend did change a lot. Kaya niya na akong tiising matulog na mabigat ang pakiramdam. Kaya niya na akong iwanang mag-isa. Kaya niya na akong pabayaaan na lang.

When I confronted him who's really that girl in his life, he even blamed me saying, "You changed a lot. I thought you are a woman who never gets jealous! Alam mo, nakakasakal ka na! You are being too needy! Gusto mo palaging sa 'yo lang ang oras ko!"

And that hits me big time.

He called me needy.

Then I'm sorry for being too needy. It's just that my love is bigger than his.

That night, I was expecting him to fix everything which he usually does but instead, he started packing his things up, telling me that he needs space.

Nagulat ako. That's not the man I used to know. He wouldn't just leave me alone like this! Hindi ganiyan si Mark!

When he demanded for space, I was left devastated but I must respect his decision. Maybe, I really am too needy that he felt suffocated.

That's why, I gave him the space he needed. No chats, no phone calls and all.

A week later, I was expecting that everything would be alright but when I received a chat from him, my heart shattered completely.

He told me, "I'm sorry, but I fell out of love. Hindi na kita maramdaman. Wala na 'yong saya gaya nang dati. Naubos at napagod na rin siguro ako. Babe, I don't need space, what I need now is a permanent separation. Let's end our relationship, Alyanna. Hindi na ako masaya, I'm sorry."

Upon reading his message, my whole world completely collapsed. Ang sakit. Sobrang sakit.

How can he easily thrown our six years relationship just like that?!

Two weeks since we broke up, I was surprised when he officially set his relationship status with his new girl on Facebook.

Damn it, how can he easily replaced me like that?!

Na sa gitna ng pagdadalamhati ko, nakahanap na pala siya nang iba!

Funny how he told me he's just a friend but here I am, being replaced by the same girl he protected.

Yes, they both looked together. Pero mas maganda sana silang tignan kung wala silang sinirang relasiyon—mabuo lang silang dalawa.

When he told me that he was just fell out of love, I didn't believe him.

Because for me, you just can't easily fell out of love to a person whom you are in love with for six years. Not unless he's cheating.

Yes, I understood that a person can be tired but if that person really loves me, he would get up from his feet and love me again after the rest.

When I saw my man moving on with his new girl like nothing happened between us, like there was no six years that we both shared together, I realized that Mark never really fell out love.

It was just his excuse to escape in our relationship.

He never fell out of love. Hindi siya napagod. Hindi rin siya naubos.

May bago lang talaga siyang mahal.

-End

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