Unintentional
It makes me lazier to realize that eyes are upon me. It isn't my intention to draw attention but it also needs the effort to stay neutral.
If possible, I wish to stay hidden. But that is almost impossible.
Last time, I wore what was just there to wear, and turns out, I drew attention to myself. It is just so ironic that I do not want to be noticed yet people criticized me.
I had to admit I wore something preposterous. And yes, not befitting my profession. Just that, I was just so lazy to plan my get-up.
Anyway, the past is past and I have to move on. Next time, I will just wear normal clothes that aren't noticeable and aren't revealing (revealing the fats, wink!).
What I would like at this point in time is to stay neutral and just live my life as quietly as possible.
Gone were the days when I would try to seek attention, put on makeup to attempt to beautify my face, wear clothes that would be of a good fit, and walk in a dignified and professional manner.
Gone were those days. I mean it. Gone were those days.
If I were to draw a line from the past to the present, I would draw a negatively sloping line. I have become tired of being pompous and obnoxious.
I ought to try to make up for myself and draw eyes away from me. and focus on more important things.
But then, I can just stay cool and not be bothered by others. They will soon lose interest and not talk about me anymore. This may just be me overthinking. I may just be overly sensitive so I thought they were talking about me.
When you've been through so much, you have no other desire than to just live and do what you want. You've been through so much enough that would say, "Ah... I have had enough!"
Indeed, I have had enough already. But I do not want to give up on this life yet. This life is just so beautiful to leave and to let go.
I have to enjoy some other ways at least. Writing. Being alone with myself. Working quietly. Wandering around town. Going to places. And so on...
We never know what time will make of us but meanwhile, I want to stay out of the limelight. Not that I have ever been a star. I was an outcast by the way for most of my days, especially at school. Students didn't usually like eccentric people like me.
But of course, some would take the pain to talk to someone like me and so I still have friends in the end. No matter what, it has been my sincere heart that won
Going back to the earlier part of this article, I didn't want neighbors or friends, or families to keep their eyes on me. As I have already mentioned, I have had enough.
I got tired of the way I have lived my life so far. Pleasing people, posing as someone I was not, and more.
Well, there are a lot more things to this than just wanting to hide or run but generally, I do not like how it is today when people try so hard to be someone they are not. I've been there, have done that, and now I got tired.
On occasions, I would post on my social media account. Just updates about me and my family, or just sharing posts about important kinds of stuff. But that's just that. Nothing more.
Gone were the days I would rant and use my social media account to get back to people. No one cares anyway. Or should I say, everybody cares about the wrong things in one's life?
I think this would be enough, for now, to start again with this account (FrieLincs). How have you been, everyone? If there ever is anyone out there who's still subscribed to me who is still active here. Hehehe.
