Reasons for Making Reasons

Excuses. Why do I make them? What are the reasons behind my excuses? Do I have a pure motive? What will the consequences be?

I can only discuss the topic based on my opinion and experiences. I am not an expert.

To start this, I used Microsoft Word to look for synonyms of 'excuses' and here we see:

• Reasons;

• Justifications;

• Explanations;

• Pretexts;

• Defenses;

• Apologies;

• Pleas; and

• Vindications.

Making excuses then is a way of giving reasons, justifications, explanations, pretexts, defenses, apologies, pleas, or vindications for something.

Personally, I do not like the idea of giving excuses because it makes me guilty of being irresponsible or I am like running away from situations or problems. It also makes me feel like I have no backbone to stand for what I believe on.

For instance, someone invites me to someplace. I'd rather say that I do not want to go because I prefer staying at home and doing house works instead of placing the blame to my spouse saying, "My husband might not approve of it. We might get into a fight because of it."

But of course, making statements should be accompanied by respect and seeing to it that the other party is not offended. There are instances where making excuses is a lot better than hurting others. But to make it even better, we tell the truth instead of making white lies.

I've been into deliberation about this because one way or another I've been making excuses all my life. This is just my opinion which I based on my experiences. We may make white lies for excuses which may seem trivial but will hurt others in the long run if we're discovered. Even simple inconsistencies will make others question our previous excuses.

To make life cleaner, I try to do the following:

• I search my soul for truths. What do I want? Why do I not want it? Why do I want it? If I know what I want, then I know what I am fighting for. There's no other choice but to be reasonable.

• I adhere to sound principles. What are the rules that need to be followed? What are the principles that must be applied? If we are not careful, things may become problematic.

• I see to it that I am not blaming innocent people or circumstances. Admitting to mistakes and forgiving oneself is a key to freedom.

• I'd rather strive to check for better ways than to resort to temporary excuses.

Let me relate to you what I knew had hurt my friends back during our high school.

As we all know, kids during the high school stage are rather arrogant, aggressive and sometimes in search for self-glorification. We were not an exemption before. We would do what other exploring kids were doing.

It was not long before I got tired for our escapades and even though I was one of the main influencers, I wanted to back slide and discontinue what I was doing. I simply wanted to stop drinking, smoking and cutting classes.

My mistake was running away and not talking it out nicely with them. It may have been hard to talk them out but doing it would have made my conscience clean. I simply distanced myself to them and it created hostility between us.

I forgive myself because I was very immature back then. But it does not remove the fact that the best method should have been telling the truth to my friends.

I'm really sorry but I realized that what we are doing are bad. We are already disobeying our parents and disobedience leads to sin. I think we should stop our vices and focus on our studies.

I should have told them the above so that whether they liked it or not, I made myself clear. If I'd known, then our lives would be better now.

But then again, those were life's lessons for us. But really, being true to myself and to my friends back then would have led us to better paths. The guilt which is still with me up to these days was about abandoning my friends. It's true that I chose a better move but not bringing them with me was my accountability as a true friend.

But hey! That's life. Sometimes, I get to say this which is very true as well. That's life.

The best thing now is to plan for tomorrow. What now? What should I do to make it better? How should I do in order not to make excuses forever?

I remember a friend who sells things for sideline. Customers would retract their order and reasons include spouses or family members not approving of their action. To protect herself from such instances, my friend sees to it that contracts are written and signed prior to making a sale, even down payment is tendered beforehand to do a way with those who back out. Nonrefundable portion of down payment is set.

Using others as excuse for our change of mind is not good at all.

The only choice we have to eliminate reasons for making reasons is to do what's right. But life is tough and this is easier said than done. But even that is not an excuse.

To conclude this message, here is a something that I've pondered on.

The life we have on earth is short. In the short span of life, choose whether you want it to be tinted with lies or clothed with truths. After all, it's our choice and not other's. We are given backbone and feet to stand tall and strong. Passing the blame is unmanly. Admitting our mistakes and forgiving ourselves will launch us to freedom. Freedom from bondages that glue us to shame and poverty.

Till next time,

FrieLincs