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Realizations of a Confused Noob (Just some meta)

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Written by   33
1 year ago

She thought it was that easy. It may have been. For some time. For a while. Those times when she didn’t care about what others might think about her writing, about her style, about what she writes, about what content she lets out into the open. Though she knew in herself that she has always given honest content. It would be forgivable when she just wasn’t so clear with how she narrated her stories sometimes due to lack of knowledge on how to express well. But she has learned so much.

It was rather easy for her to put words into paper or on any device she could access when she had been dealing with some of her troubles before. She always got a lot of inspiration. She wrote fast because she had a lot to say. The motivation was enormous, too huge to waive. Those times she needed to confide but couldn’t confide on anyone but thru writing.

Those were the times!

But as she emerges from the pit, she found it harder and harder to write. With all the other responsibilities… She found herself dragging herself to write.

No, not really, it’s not about the added responsibilities. It must have been the fact that she was growing weary writing by the day. She needed to look at writing at a fresh angle. It would be tough reviewing all those things she has written in favor of writing.

She had to exploit whatever creativity left in her. She just needed to write again without minding anybody. What was she good at? What topics did she know best? She just had to relearn how to write. How wonderful has it felt before? She needed to feel that again!

Her plights? Too many to mention. Some she couldn’t even put into words as clearly as she would have wanted. And she may even just be misunderstood! What a pity it has come to this! But this may just be normal for anyone of her circumstance. She refused to contact Google. To see what come would come out of the search engine.

When did she like writing? When was the last time she talked about how she came to try this wondrous hobby (or career)? On many occasions, she recounts those points when she was able to finally get the courage to let her mind be known.

Perhaps, she’s just being pushed back by some unknown force. But she won’t be defeated. Not yet, not now that she is finally seeing the light of the day.

Hurl those words! Type those awkwardness! Do not be afraid of typo! Soren was someone of the past to be thanked for! He said not to despise typographical errors. He said to become witty by means of typographical errors may be considered a legitimate way to become witty. She actually had a hard time digesting some of the pages of that great book but in the end learned a lot.

What sense were those learnings if not put to good use? She came across Natalie. She read through her! Yes! Writing is the new religion. She agrees with her! With many others, she and those others agree with Natalie. If it’s indeed the new religion, then it is her new religion—writing!

But in the ocean of all her considerations, she managed to be confused. She managed to distort her own thinking. What was she thinking? What outrageous thoughts has she been brewing on her mind?

Think deeper, appreciate more, don’t take things for granted. She tells herself to just go on. Or stop in order to think clearer. She may just needed a break. Just a short break. Not yet a burnout. How long has she written to experience such already? Not that long, she’s a newbie, a noob.

Don’t rush. Dance gracefully. When you dance, you just dance in order to succeed at dancing. But when you dance glancing sideward or wherever, then you lose your grace, you forget your steps, you become conscious and you lose your confidence. Just dance on until you’re done.

Now she’s taking it better again, having cleared some of the fogs of her mind. Nothing should stop anyone from self-expression. It’s a psychological battle sometimes. She will have to realign her heart and her mind with her goals and aspirations.

When finally, she realized what she needed to realize, she felt a stronger desire to write. She may not even need a break anymore.

Be inspired. Always…

Writing...

... over a cup of coffee...

All photos from Unsplash

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Written by   33
1 year ago
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