I can’t put my bag down

Onlookers might think that I have something very valuable in my bag. Yes. They’re right. I have  MANY valuable things in my bag. Notebooks, ballpens, wallet, small bags, papers, puller, nipper, nail polish, cutter, pusher, lipstick (of course), ID’s, napkin, and so many more things.

When I was in college, I would put everything on my bag, the books, the things needed in school. When someone tries to carry my bag for me, they just gave up. It’s heavy! My sister would get irritated by this. Honestly! She would say. Then my friends as well. Seriously?!!!

But then when need arises, they come to me and get what they need. I also am not fond of putting my bag down. For some reason, I just can’t put it down. But when asked about something, I would give. Sometimes, I retrieve my things if they don’t have the heart to return. Sometimes I forget to retrieve what they got from me. I would just then replenish it.

Maybe, I could use this as an analogy to my personality. No matter how talkative I am, I always filter what I say. This kind of playing safe sometimes get dangerous. But I wouldn’t want to talk about why in here.

The moment I leave my bag and go to town, I would feel very different. It seems as if I have left everything including my soul.  The reason why I can’t leave my bag maybe is I wanted to always have everything ready when I needed them. Like my ID, my wallet, my whatever.

My sister on the other hand would manage with just a small pouch and money folded inside her phone’s casing. I wonder why she doesn’t carry anything more. She wonders why I carry so much more than needed. Just in case… I would respond. Okay then…

The problem was that I always get achy arms and shoulders. That’s what you get.. Well, it’s what I got!!! I would retort! I really can’t put my bag down. And nobody touches my bag except for RenLeaf.

There was a time in college when we went to an old caretaker. She glared at me, “What’s your problem? Do you have gold in there? Are we thieves?”

I did not get offended since she was a joker. She speaks seriously but she’s humorous. My group laughed hard and they teased me forever. I put down my bag but I keep glancing at it. really, I can’t risk losing anything. I have no money in my bag but everything is valuable. They’re sentimental. I forgot what happened in the end but I bet I wasn’t comfortable during the whole duration of our stay there. Probably because my bag wasn’t near me.

I remember also the time when we went faraway for National Youth Day. During the travel going home. I put my bag down on my seat. When we arrived, I totally forgot about the bag and I lost two CD’s and I things I forgot what. Those CD’s contain Christian songs that we would be dancing into when we arrive home. I talked with someone to follow it up but it was lost. No one bothered to give it back to me. After that, I started using sling bags just so I wouldn’t put anything down.

When we visited the barrios with the priest, I always carry my black sling bag and never put it down. Inside were hair gel and pomade. Because my hair then was short. I had to fix it always. I felt reluctant donating it to my cousin who attended to us because she gave a lot of reason so that I would give mercy to her. She won.

Now, I still am that person who keeps her bag close by. Even at this moment, I have my bag near me. I would open it from time to time to plan in my black planner. Crumpled planner. Just two weeks ago, I had to change bag because my daughter spilled her milo beverage on my bag. I switched to the big pink bag. I had to reorganize so that the one near my body when carrying the bag would be notebook in vertical position. Next would be the stack of papers that I use for my math solutions when needed. Then next would be small bags then my wallet. So there is my heavy big bag.

I’m not sure when I will finally sort this thing out. What’s sure is I will always be putting my bag close by whenever.