You ask your friend, “What do you want me to order for our lunch?”
Your friend mindlessly responds, “Anything.” It seems easy for her to have decided.
You go to the counter. You thought, what’s her favorite? Hmmm… You ordered fried chicken for her because it’s her favorite. That’s the last update you knew. You ordered adobo for you. Then you both love coke so that’s the drinks for the both of you. You waited for the order. You can carry it since there are just two orders on the tray. You brought the food on your table. You give your friend’s food while you bring near you your food as well. She looks at your food and her food. Your friend complains, “You should’ve ordered adobo for me, too!”
Well? Thank you for the gratitude! Thank you for the thoughtfulness. You thought sarcastically. It’s okay though since you are friends, it’s easy to have some remedy. You laugh it off and you can scold your friend. You can argue with her. If it goes bad, you can just decide to let things go or just give her your adobo. She’ll realize what she just said and did.
You feel me? This happens quite often, right?
On another occasion, you ask your son, “How would you want me to do for your milk?”
“Up to you, Ma.”
You bring him his milk then he remarks, “Too sweet…”
Ooops! Don’t be a tiger, mother! It’s time for some sermon but do it nicely and calmly. You don’t have to force all your arguments to him. Just point out that he should be clear with his preferences.
Well, thank you for your kind words! You may also think that way. Still sarcastically. How would people be so mindless with their actions and words? You did them some favor then they return with all the wrong words.
Most of the time, people speak mindlessly then reacts when their mindlessness speaks up. It would be too late before they realize their mistakes. Someone dear has already been hurt.
So next time someone responds with similar words, either you demand what they want or let them choose on their own or figure it out on your own.
It is important to reflect upon a lot of things. When we are due to make choices, we know what to let out. It’s not a good practice to let others think for us. We have our mind and we have our freedom to choose. Lift the burden upon others and take advantage of the opportunity to choose for ourselves.
Meditation, reflection, knowing ourselves, knowing our needs, deepest desires, and a whole lot of things personal is not a waste of energy.
I have always been a passive person. Not knowing what I want and always letting others lead. When asked about my preferences, it will usually take me some time before I am able to respond. But if it happens that I’ve already thought out about such subject it is easy to respond.
But at some point we need to confront ourselves and take out decisions for quicker reference. If for example you will be in a tough situation where you needed to ask favor from people, it is important to bring to them clearly what you want. The conditions, the favor you wanted to ask, the service you will return them or simply talk to them that you are in dire straits and that you just return favor in any way you can in the future. So there will be no unnecessary expectations later on and it will be up to you to honor your words.
Always be kind to others. In knowing your preferences, you save time by giving them direct answers. You do not have to let them think for you. They don’t have to spend time figuring out what you want.
I remember ladies who simply let their boyfies choose for them and it almost always lead to unfavorable situation for the ladies.
Hence, it is important to be assertive. It will also lessen the blaming game. Do not be ashamed of what you want. It is the best so you won’t have regrets. If in the end you regret your choice, at least you won’t have to give the blame to others.
So there, anything won’t always mean anything. It means, something that is very specific actually but left for others to decipher. How hard a life would this be if anything will always be not anything! Let’s save the world of unnecessary arguments.
Good evening!
