Let Go and Let God

Are you a worrier? Do you always worry about your life? Do you always worry about tomorrow? Do you worry about simple things like what to eat, drink or wear?

As a human, it's very normal for us to worry. We're stress out about life, we're melting down from side to side struggles. We're worried about not being enough.

I'm the type of person who can get stress easily, it has a quick effect on me actually. Just one stressful event, my head will react immediately and I can suddenly feel the muscle tension in my neck and shoulders. I'm trying not to get affected because I know myself. When I started with my small business, that's when I slowly trained myself to shrug it off as long as I can. I learned how to relax, I even have calming oils, a menthol stick, an inhaler that I always use even without a headache. They're my "tita kita". I have them even when I'm just going to the mall, just in case my headache visits me because of the weather. Oh, I forgot, I have healing crystals too haha. They're my collections, I want to learn how to use them with meditation, hopefully soon.

Anyway, back to my article hehe, that's how much effort I put myself not to be consumed by my stress. If you read some of my articles here, I'm open about my anxieties and mental health, I don't trust my mind too much during my low mood before, because I tend to forget all my self-love and self-care tips and advices. I still get affected, it's normal, every one of us has this mood, but compare to my past self, I believe I'm stronger now. I always do "self-talk". "It's okay, but no, don't stay there too long" but I usually say it with my favorite Korean words " gwaenchanh-a, andwae" means it's okay but no.

I have a lot of worries lately with some personal issues plus my noise.cash account got spammed I think. I don't know what went wrong, it just happened. Like I said before, my earnings there are for my credit card bills. I have some BCH for hold but I convert most of it to fiat. I doubt that it could be much of help now. I'm just enjoying the site but I'm affected, to be honest. I have too much on my plate already, and this unfortunate thing happened.

I took some rest for almost 3 days coz even if I'm working, my mind is preoccupied. Once I'm done with production, I just sleep, because I need to shut down myself completely. I'm trying not to have another anxiety attack, it's the worst feeling for me. I don't usually take afternoon nap but for 3 days, I'm always sleepy, I think maybe because I'm stress. I don't even have any energy to clean the house and my working area, but because I'm a one-man team, when it comes to work, I have to force myself to avoid pendings.

I'm thinking maybe because I didn't surrender all my worries to God. I'm trying to remember last night if there's a time that I forgot to talk to Him and I think yes.😔, I'm guilty. I was so tired at night that I wasn't able to finish my prayer.

I'm able to write tonight because I surrender everything to Him. I let go all my worries even the smallest ones. I'm tired of worrying these past days,..it's time to rest in peace lol.

This part was my draft in my notes before during my darkest days, let me share it with you.

It's indeed draining to keep on worrying. We can't focus on our present if we're thinking too much about tomorrow. It won't help us. We are so melted, tied up and breaking down in our own worries and problems that we forget that He's always with us. He's always beside us saying "Child, do you want my help?" Sometimes, He will break us in the most inconvenient way because He wants us to trust Him. Surrender and seek Him. Don't you ever wonder, every time we leave or surrender everything to Him, everything is falling into place all of a sudden? We accept the fact that only Him can fill the joy of our brokenness, struggles, our emptiness. We are nothing but pieces that can only be fixed by Him. He knows when to shake our faith and unveil the burdens and excess baggage we’re carrying. When we trust God we don't have to try to figure anything out anymore. We take the pressure off of ourselves. Fighting.

*lead image from Unsplash