Dedication ❤

I'm thinking about what to share here earlier and I ended up writing what's on my mind. It's just about my goal before and now, I so stressed earlier that I have to remind myself to look back to my past experiences and realized that I'm too far from what I am yesterday. I even count the baby steps of course haha.

I'm a late bloomer in all aspects, maybe because I'm a free-spirited person. When I was young I always said that I wanted to be a painter but because we're not rich, my parents can't afford to buy me art materials it's too pricey back then, most of the art mats were branded, you can't find many china products before lol. During high school, while others were all excited about college life and what course, I'm just "well, if what's available" hahaha. I took the entrance exam to several Universities and the courses that I always wrote were Business Administration (because it's my older sister's course) and IT. But I ended up with Advertising and Public Relations, why? because that's the available hahaha, but my sister told me that's it's a good course, it's the place for creative people, she said.

Actually, I enjoyed Advertising so much, but not the whole aspect of it. It's too broad, you can be an Account Executive, Copywriter, Editor, Public Relations Officer, work in an Advertising Agency.. I so love advertising but the side of graphic design and video editing was what I love the most. And to think of it I should take Multimedia Arts BUT as I've said we don't have much and Multimedia arts is so expensive. My dedication was to finished college on time, I just don't want to be an Octoberian .

Fast forward, I chose to be a Graphic Designer. It's not an easy journey. That was my first goal right after I graduated. That was the first time that I have plans. I started as a creative staff, I assisted senior artists. I shared in my past articles that I was bullied by them, it feels like hell. They're not that bad, I just had a culture shock, because my environment was too far from the reality outside school and home. They started to bully me personally, my skills..that's when I started to practice at home. Practicing designs on my personal computer. I stay committed even I cried many times because of them. I dedicated my time after work to learned and hone my skills, I almost quit but I told myself that I wasn't born just to quit because of them. I wanted to be a Graphic Designer, no one can stop me, that was my first dream and goal from the bottom of my heart, I won't quit easily. To summarize, I became a graphic artist after 6 months and been promoted to Junior Graphic Designer after a year.

If you really want to achieve something, don't quit. You will never know how far you'll go, who knows, you're really near to achieving it but because you quit, it just ended there. The only thing you should ever quit is giving up.

I achieved being a GD, and I set another goal. To behave my own business. I never wanted to be an entrepreneur, it's just so sudden maybe because I'm tired of being a robot. When it comes to designing, no matter how good is your layout, the approval comes from the creative director. That was the right process, but in my previous employer, the COO was the one to approve the layouts. And the hardest part was, they want to know the manager's opinion regarding the designs, so we're going to apply it in layout then after their opinions don't matter because the final say was should be from the higher-ups. I experienced working on a billboard with 20 revisions because they don't know what they like. They keep on asking for some revisions but approved the 1st version. What a joke. That kind of system drained my youth lol. That's when I started to ask myself "what's your plan?"

Then I had an accident caused by a fire. My right arm broke, just a little damage, my tiny bone cracked and I wasn't able to work because I'm right-handed. I'm on sick leave for two months, that's when I realized a lot of things. A month after I came back, I resigned. Actually, our creative director was the one who keeps on telling me not to be like them, because she's old now, she can't pursue the business that she wanted because of her kids. Practicality, having a business is not for all especially if you have kids. You can't be selfish in pursuing your goals with uncertainty. Let's face the reality, having a business is hard, there are times that you have to accept your low season. No orders, no income.. if you have kids, you can't do that, family will always be the priority. That's why she told me to go on, I don't have a kid yet so I have to pursue what I want. Management even asked me how much increase I wanted, no..I don't want an increase anymore, I want peace, I want to pursue a different path.

And like in my journey before, I'm kind of stubborn when it comes to my dream. I always give my all and energy. I dedicate so much time and effort. I have a background in printing since I was in grade school, shirt screen printing was my parent's sideline. We tried screen printing at first but it needs a lot of space and it's only good for bulk orders so we converted to digital printing. It's a roller coaster ride, I failed, I get mad, devastated, frustrated but I keep ongoing. I don't want to be rich, it's impossible and too far from what I imagine my life to be. I just want a simple life, where I could enjoy my time with my future kids (if there will be a kid in the future lol), enough money for our needs, enough time for my arts, enough to help those in needs. Well, we never know what the future holds, but for now, I am determined with our small business, and giving up will never be an option. I didn't come this far to only come this far. ❤❤

Let's all give our best to pursue our goals.