I was about to cry again. After reading Hideaki Hamada's note, it felt like the real intention I had in my mind had returned to my mind. This is a story of photography, but the picture for me is exactly the same.
I like drawing people. I have always drawn "someone". The reason I became an illustrator was because I was drawing someone every day. I was just drawing the person I wanted to draw.
But drawing someone was sometimes painful. Because there is a fact that there are "people who are not drawn" at the same time as drawing someone. Every time a picture is lined up on Instagram, it seems that my favor for people is revealed.
"I only draw cute girls" "Why don't I draw?" Sometimes I was told that, and I felt unhealthy, and gradually stopped drawing "someone". I went. (Changes around that are in the past diary )
You may think you don't have to worry about that, but it does. Why you ask? Because it is a star. It's fun when I'm drawing a person I like. To be honest, I don't think drawing is fun, but only when I'm drawing someone I like.
I'm happy if I can draw nicely, and I'm happy if they are happy. And maybe we can get along better. Drawing someone is, as Mr. Hamada says, a confession of love. Confession doesn't mean that you want to go out with someone (well, I'm glad it happened). But after all there is a feeling that I want you to like it.
However, as I said at the beginning, it is also a pain. When I draw someone, I look at that person, but the other person is looking at the picture, not me. On the contrary, there are people who are looking at me, but I don't draw them.
It became difficult to bring such extremely personal feelings into the painting, and the feelings and expressions for the painting changed drastically. And, with that real intention in mind, I headed for the canvas all the time. (Although I don't go there a lot)
But when I read Mr. Hamada's words, my true intentions overflowed again. And I almost cried. I'm not crying at the last minute.
Now I have changed the style of painting. It is becoming an abstract expression little by little. But after all, there is "someone" in my head, and I think I will continue to draw with someone in mind.
If there is a person who makes a picture insanely, I wish I could draw only that person and live happily.
Bery nice